I was 19. CJ had just turned 23 four days before. We were best friends turned friends in love and had spent the last 18 months planning our perfect wedding. We invited all our friends and family and had 300 guests. I spent the morning getting ready at the church, along with my mom and bridesmaids. I was relaxed and confident that the day was going to perfect. It was.
At 11am, CJ and I saw each other for the first time in the sanctuary as I walked down the isle alone to where he was standing on stage. I know people were peeking through the windows in the back but it was a private moment between my soon-to-be husband and his bride. Pictures (millions of them) would start in 15 minutes but we were in our own little world. I don't remember what we talked about but I remember how ridiculously happy I was the whole time. Our photographer discreetly took some pictures before she gave us our privacy and both of us are beaming at each other. My favorite wedding picture is from this time.
Fast forward through pictures and lunch and it's 2pm--time for the ceremony. We had tons of music; 5 songs plus the processional and recessional music. The ceremony was just over an hour but I thought it passed in minutes. 5 songs leave a lot of time to just stand there but those times were my favorite parts of the ceremony. Of course, I loved to say our vows and hear the words passed down from generation to generation but during the songs we just talked. People told us later how they thought we'd never shut up! I didn't care! We were having a ball! On our video I love seeing us laugh and joke with each other. I looked like I slept with a hanger in my mouth my smile was so big, lol. I DO remember some of what we said, but not most of it. But again, I remember how ridiculously happy I was through the whole ceremony. I cried (everybody cried) during my "Daddy" song but never again the ceremony. (CJ cried more than I did :)) I was too stinkin' happy!
On June 17, 2000 I married my best friend. I love him more today, 11 years later. We've weathered many ups and downs but we've come out on the other side stronger and more committed. Love you C. With all my heart.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2011
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
VACATION!!!!!!!!
Yeah!!!! CJ and I have made plans for our first real vacation in 10 years! The last one being our honeymoon. It's going to be our 10 year anniversary this June and we really wanted to do something. It's been a really tough year money-wise, Murphy has been our constant companion but we've been able to scrape up enough to make this vacation happen. We're going to Wisconsin Dells for 3 days/2 nights and then to Minneapolis, MN to visit our friends Josh and Ashley Vance for 3 days/3 nights. (Can't wait to meet their new baby boy, Elake)
I found a motel on TripAdvisor.com. It's rated #1 in value and customer satisfaction in the Wisconsin Dells area. We got a whirlpool room, with a private balcony over the pool and a king sized bed for $85 a night! Yeah! They also have rooms with multiple rooms and kitchens for about the same price. They have several really nice, new playgrounds and grills that we can use. Plus a heated outdoor pool, an indoor pool and 2 hot tubs. We've decided if we like this place then we'll bring Dani here for our next vacation.
I read all the reviews for this place! At least back till 2007 or so and I only saw 3 bad reviews. All of them had a reply from the owner (it's family owned, has been since it opened) and he basically told them they should have called to let them know of their problems (they keep records of all calls and complaints, there was none for these people) and he would have either fixed it or given the a FULL REFUND! He even offered to give them a refund now. Seriously? I was shocked. There were probably about 5 reviews that gave descriptions of problems they'd had and they were ALL satisfied with how it was fixed, quickly! One person described how their fridge didn't close properly and the manager was there within 5 minutes and when he couldn't repair it, he had a new one brought to them in 15 minutes. That's awesome. All the rooms have been remodeled over the last 3 years and the beds, I've heard, are to die for. They put some big money into all new Sealy beds. Can't wait to sleep on them!
It's definately a motel, not a huge resort like so many of the hotels there in the Dells, but we don't need that. I think every single review said the place was unbelievably clean even before the rooms were remodeled and everything was old. Plus, the rooms are supposed to be really big, even the suites with multiple rooms. All I need is a quiet spot to relax with my hubby. It's on the edge of town so it's not surrounded by noise and traffic but it's just a couple blocks from the downtown area with all the restaurants and shops. It's sounds perfect!
Anyway, I'm just excited, can you tell? I have no idea what I'm going to do without Dani for 6 days but I know she's in good hands. Grandma Lynn and Mimi (my mom) are going to watch her for us. It'll be really good for CJ and I to have this time together. Plus it'll be great to see Josh and Ashley. We saw them in November but that's too long ago. I'm going through Ashley withdrawal. :)
Happy (almost) 10 years Baby!!!
I found a motel on TripAdvisor.com. It's rated #1 in value and customer satisfaction in the Wisconsin Dells area. We got a whirlpool room, with a private balcony over the pool and a king sized bed for $85 a night! Yeah! They also have rooms with multiple rooms and kitchens for about the same price. They have several really nice, new playgrounds and grills that we can use. Plus a heated outdoor pool, an indoor pool and 2 hot tubs. We've decided if we like this place then we'll bring Dani here for our next vacation.
I read all the reviews for this place! At least back till 2007 or so and I only saw 3 bad reviews. All of them had a reply from the owner (it's family owned, has been since it opened) and he basically told them they should have called to let them know of their problems (they keep records of all calls and complaints, there was none for these people) and he would have either fixed it or given the a FULL REFUND! He even offered to give them a refund now. Seriously? I was shocked. There were probably about 5 reviews that gave descriptions of problems they'd had and they were ALL satisfied with how it was fixed, quickly! One person described how their fridge didn't close properly and the manager was there within 5 minutes and when he couldn't repair it, he had a new one brought to them in 15 minutes. That's awesome. All the rooms have been remodeled over the last 3 years and the beds, I've heard, are to die for. They put some big money into all new Sealy beds. Can't wait to sleep on them!
It's definately a motel, not a huge resort like so many of the hotels there in the Dells, but we don't need that. I think every single review said the place was unbelievably clean even before the rooms were remodeled and everything was old. Plus, the rooms are supposed to be really big, even the suites with multiple rooms. All I need is a quiet spot to relax with my hubby. It's on the edge of town so it's not surrounded by noise and traffic but it's just a couple blocks from the downtown area with all the restaurants and shops. It's sounds perfect!
Anyway, I'm just excited, can you tell? I have no idea what I'm going to do without Dani for 6 days but I know she's in good hands. Grandma Lynn and Mimi (my mom) are going to watch her for us. It'll be really good for CJ and I to have this time together. Plus it'll be great to see Josh and Ashley. We saw them in November but that's too long ago. I'm going through Ashley withdrawal. :)
Happy (almost) 10 years Baby!!!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Angel Food is Launched!
Wow, what a morning! Angel food had it's first distribution day (at our church) today. It's exciting to see it off the ground. We had a good turn out of volunteers. Not everyone who signed up showed up but that's ok. People probably had conflicts. It was fun to see people getting excited about the ministry. A lot of our volunteers couldn't wait to take menus out to their friends, neighbors, and coworkers. And several "customers" (people who bought boxes) were excited to share with those around them too. It is so neat to see God spread this around. One woman who had bought a box, works with a lot of shut ins and people like that and she sees some of them buy precooked meals for $7.50 a pop. Well Angel Food has a "Senior Meals" box that is 10 meals for $28 and she can't wait to tell all those people about it. She said ours even looks better-tasting. Also, we have a volunteer that just can't wait to deliver to the elderly and handicapped so that will work out wonderfully.
We (CJ and I) have been praying since we got here that God would show people a new way of doing things. A new way to be the church, the body of Christ. And people are starting to catch the vision! It is exciting to see. I see so many new ideas flowing out of people and we are just trying to keep up. I told a friend of mine, Kathy, (who has tons of great ideas) that she just needs to write them all down because every time we talk she has 10 more! At least it seems that way.
I know God has been working behind the scenes, so I'm not going to say he's "finally" showing himself or coming through for us now, but it is exciting to see how our prayers really have made a difference over the last 2 or so years. People seem so "ripe", so hungry for this kind of ministry direction. It's exciting to dream about what God has in store.
However, I can tell that we are meeting resistance. Not so much from people in the church but from Satan. He is attacking some new christians that I was starting to talk to and minister to. We were going to start a new small group that would allow them to learn the basics of the Christian faith and help them get to know the person of Jesus and his vision for life. However, Satan is attacking their marriages pretty hard. It is hard to see this happen. I still think God could turn things around but one has to be open to it first and they seem pretty closed. So I'm dealing with this right now. I don't quite know how to proceed. One of the drawbacks to immersing our lives in others without putting on a happy mask, being real and vulnerable is that life gets messy. We don't always know what to do. We don't know how to help those that are making "messy" choices.
It's easy to greet someone in the hall at church with a smile and ask how they are doing. They will answer "Fine" or "Good" or something along those lines. We have this exchange enough times each Sunday and we feel we've connected with people. That we've invested in someone. That we've made someone feel welcome. That is CRAP. C.R.A.P. We need to be willing to go to the needy, the hurting, the outcasts and downtrodden of society. Those that are divorcing, homeless, poor, hungry, oppressed and hurting. But that makes for a messy life.
What happens then too, if we actually reach these people? What if they decide to check out our church. Will someone be welcome if they walk in hand in hand with someone of the same sex? Will someone dressed in a Marilyn Manson t-shirt, and black lipstick be welcomed in (without being stared at). What about a man who smells bad that won't stop talking to you. What will we do then? Will we be Jesus to those people? Jesus hung out with the outcasts. He built relationships with them. They liked him so much, they invited him to their parties! Does it sound like he felt the need to point out their sin right away? To tell them what they were doing wrong and needed to change before they were welcome in his presence? Who would invite someone like that to a big ol' party of all their sinner friends? I wouldn't! The fact that the very people that were shown nothing but contempt and disdain by the religious leaders of that day would want to party with Jesus shows us that he LOVED first. He talked to them like they were more than just the sum of their sin. That they were people that God loved and longed to have a relationship with. Jesus saw them as worthy of respect and compassion. He built a relationship built on love and respect first and then showed them that there was a better way of living. He called it the Kingdom of God. God's way of living. Living by the ways of his kingdom instead of the ways of the world around them. And the greatest attribute in God's kingdom is Love. Period.
So as we launch Angel Food and hopefully more ministries in this direction. I hope we think about how we can be a part of the Kingdom of God. How we can be the hands and feet and mouthpiece of Jesus. Love first. Period.
We (CJ and I) have been praying since we got here that God would show people a new way of doing things. A new way to be the church, the body of Christ. And people are starting to catch the vision! It is exciting to see. I see so many new ideas flowing out of people and we are just trying to keep up. I told a friend of mine, Kathy, (who has tons of great ideas) that she just needs to write them all down because every time we talk she has 10 more! At least it seems that way.
I know God has been working behind the scenes, so I'm not going to say he's "finally" showing himself or coming through for us now, but it is exciting to see how our prayers really have made a difference over the last 2 or so years. People seem so "ripe", so hungry for this kind of ministry direction. It's exciting to dream about what God has in store.
However, I can tell that we are meeting resistance. Not so much from people in the church but from Satan. He is attacking some new christians that I was starting to talk to and minister to. We were going to start a new small group that would allow them to learn the basics of the Christian faith and help them get to know the person of Jesus and his vision for life. However, Satan is attacking their marriages pretty hard. It is hard to see this happen. I still think God could turn things around but one has to be open to it first and they seem pretty closed. So I'm dealing with this right now. I don't quite know how to proceed. One of the drawbacks to immersing our lives in others without putting on a happy mask, being real and vulnerable is that life gets messy. We don't always know what to do. We don't know how to help those that are making "messy" choices.
It's easy to greet someone in the hall at church with a smile and ask how they are doing. They will answer "Fine" or "Good" or something along those lines. We have this exchange enough times each Sunday and we feel we've connected with people. That we've invested in someone. That we've made someone feel welcome. That is CRAP. C.R.A.P. We need to be willing to go to the needy, the hurting, the outcasts and downtrodden of society. Those that are divorcing, homeless, poor, hungry, oppressed and hurting. But that makes for a messy life.
What happens then too, if we actually reach these people? What if they decide to check out our church. Will someone be welcome if they walk in hand in hand with someone of the same sex? Will someone dressed in a Marilyn Manson t-shirt, and black lipstick be welcomed in (without being stared at). What about a man who smells bad that won't stop talking to you. What will we do then? Will we be Jesus to those people? Jesus hung out with the outcasts. He built relationships with them. They liked him so much, they invited him to their parties! Does it sound like he felt the need to point out their sin right away? To tell them what they were doing wrong and needed to change before they were welcome in his presence? Who would invite someone like that to a big ol' party of all their sinner friends? I wouldn't! The fact that the very people that were shown nothing but contempt and disdain by the religious leaders of that day would want to party with Jesus shows us that he LOVED first. He talked to them like they were more than just the sum of their sin. That they were people that God loved and longed to have a relationship with. Jesus saw them as worthy of respect and compassion. He built a relationship built on love and respect first and then showed them that there was a better way of living. He called it the Kingdom of God. God's way of living. Living by the ways of his kingdom instead of the ways of the world around them. And the greatest attribute in God's kingdom is Love. Period.
So as we launch Angel Food and hopefully more ministries in this direction. I hope we think about how we can be a part of the Kingdom of God. How we can be the hands and feet and mouthpiece of Jesus. Love first. Period.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
10 years ago
Saturday CJ and I made a day trip to the Iowa City area and did some Christmas/grocery/anything shopping. We went to Tanger Outlet mall and Sams Club. We got gifts for several people, Christmas shopping is half done!
At the last minute we decided that the trip would be way to much for Dani and we arranged for the Eagens to take her (thank God for them!!!!!) for the day. She enjoys going there so much more than traipsing around with us. I'm really glad we did that because 1)the day was longer than we had planned but mostly 2)because CJ and I needed the day together. It's been awhile since we've connected like that. You married folk will be able to relate to this. I know marriage has it's ups and downs, but lately we've been going through a down patch. It sucks actually. Knowing it happens doesn't necessarily make it easy to get through.
Saturday, we laughed and talked, not really about anything deep but just easy banter and conversation. We were completely comfortable with each other, no work stress, house cleaning stress, or anything that causes our daily fights. It was lighthearted and free like when we were teenagers (or as close as we will ever get).
On the way home, we realized that ten years ago that weekend was the weekend we went to Coralville Mall (outside Iowa City) and got our promise rings. The weather was even the same. Snow flurries enough to make it pretty but no enough to make driving hazardous. It was a good memory to recall together.
At the last minute we decided that the trip would be way to much for Dani and we arranged for the Eagens to take her (thank God for them!!!!!) for the day. She enjoys going there so much more than traipsing around with us. I'm really glad we did that because 1)the day was longer than we had planned but mostly 2)because CJ and I needed the day together. It's been awhile since we've connected like that. You married folk will be able to relate to this. I know marriage has it's ups and downs, but lately we've been going through a down patch. It sucks actually. Knowing it happens doesn't necessarily make it easy to get through.
Saturday, we laughed and talked, not really about anything deep but just easy banter and conversation. We were completely comfortable with each other, no work stress, house cleaning stress, or anything that causes our daily fights. It was lighthearted and free like when we were teenagers (or as close as we will ever get).
On the way home, we realized that ten years ago that weekend was the weekend we went to Coralville Mall (outside Iowa City) and got our promise rings. The weather was even the same. Snow flurries enough to make it pretty but no enough to make driving hazardous. It was a good memory to recall together.
Monday, October 20, 2008
marriage relationships
Why is it that we treat our spouse worse than we would a stranger? We would never snap at someone else for eating too loud, being a little late, or whatever else little pet peeve you can think of. We give others so much grace and none to those closest to us.
I heard a story of someone who was talking about something I talk about a lot and it was like someone slapped me across the face with it. I don't remember the context or even where I heard it but I'm going to paraphrase. This man was telling an acquaintance/friend about how much he was learning about God's grace. About how God doesn't kick us when we're down, how God's not this person who only gives us so many chances and that's it, how he loves us even at our worst, etc etc. When he was done, the friend said that it must be wonderful to be your wife and children. How could you learn so much about God's grace and not therefore, be that much more grace-full to those around you? The man stopped and realized all these realizations he'd had, hadn't transferred into his home. He saw how he was supposed to give more grace to the world around him and even to himself, but not to his own family. He said it changed his life.
As Paul said, I am the chief of sinners. I am so ungraceful to CJ. I expect him to always be courteous, even when he's tired and stressed and thoughtful of my feelings at all times, in all situations. When he fails I have very little grace. However, I expect him to be graceful to me. When I'm tired, I get super crabby. Sometimes I just get in a mood and there's no snapping me out of it. I expect him to deal with it and know that it's just because I'm tired, moody, emotional, or whatever else excuse I give. In other words, he needs to give me grace. Most of the time he's pretty good about it, especially the moodiness. He's learned it's just me and I'll snap out of it sometime soon. (just that much more quickly if he shows me the grace I am so obviously needing) There are some situations that push his buttons that he falls short of showing me the grace I need but who doesn't? I certainly do that all the time.
This issue has been brought to the forefront of my mind recently by a movie I went to go see with CJ. It's called Fireproof. If you haven't seen it yet, go. It's wonderful. The most wonderful thing about it wasn't the acting, although that was better than the previous movies, or even that it was a "Christian" movie, all the "Christian" stuff could have been taken away and this part would have still been left. The best part was that it reminded us to appreciate our spouse and treat them like they are they are worthy of love and grace. To hold our tongue instead of spouting off that little jab, to study our spouse again, their likes and dislikes, what makes them tick. Basically to do the things we used to that made them fall in love with us in the first place. How many of our spouses would have fallen in love with us if we treated them then like we do now? After CJ and I went to see Fireproof, we had one of the best dates we've had in years. Probably one of the best since we've been married! It wasn't about where we went or what we did (we went shopping for Dani and went to Carlos O'Kellys) but how we treated each other.
I know our relationships change after marriage, it's inevitable. There is a study that has shown the intensity of feelings can physically not be maintained chemically in our brain. That intense "I must be with them every second of every day" feeling. To try to hold on to those feelings is not realistic at all. But what we can and should but don't keep up is the basic courtesy, the deference to each others feelings, the unselfishness, and outward expressions of love on a daily basis. How many marriages might have been saved if these weren't done away with after the "honeymoon" phase ended?
I heard a story of someone who was talking about something I talk about a lot and it was like someone slapped me across the face with it. I don't remember the context or even where I heard it but I'm going to paraphrase. This man was telling an acquaintance/friend about how much he was learning about God's grace. About how God doesn't kick us when we're down, how God's not this person who only gives us so many chances and that's it, how he loves us even at our worst, etc etc. When he was done, the friend said that it must be wonderful to be your wife and children. How could you learn so much about God's grace and not therefore, be that much more grace-full to those around you? The man stopped and realized all these realizations he'd had, hadn't transferred into his home. He saw how he was supposed to give more grace to the world around him and even to himself, but not to his own family. He said it changed his life.
As Paul said, I am the chief of sinners. I am so ungraceful to CJ. I expect him to always be courteous, even when he's tired and stressed and thoughtful of my feelings at all times, in all situations. When he fails I have very little grace. However, I expect him to be graceful to me. When I'm tired, I get super crabby. Sometimes I just get in a mood and there's no snapping me out of it. I expect him to deal with it and know that it's just because I'm tired, moody, emotional, or whatever else excuse I give. In other words, he needs to give me grace. Most of the time he's pretty good about it, especially the moodiness. He's learned it's just me and I'll snap out of it sometime soon. (just that much more quickly if he shows me the grace I am so obviously needing) There are some situations that push his buttons that he falls short of showing me the grace I need but who doesn't? I certainly do that all the time.
This issue has been brought to the forefront of my mind recently by a movie I went to go see with CJ. It's called Fireproof. If you haven't seen it yet, go. It's wonderful. The most wonderful thing about it wasn't the acting, although that was better than the previous movies, or even that it was a "Christian" movie, all the "Christian" stuff could have been taken away and this part would have still been left. The best part was that it reminded us to appreciate our spouse and treat them like they are they are worthy of love and grace. To hold our tongue instead of spouting off that little jab, to study our spouse again, their likes and dislikes, what makes them tick. Basically to do the things we used to that made them fall in love with us in the first place. How many of our spouses would have fallen in love with us if we treated them then like we do now? After CJ and I went to see Fireproof, we had one of the best dates we've had in years. Probably one of the best since we've been married! It wasn't about where we went or what we did (we went shopping for Dani and went to Carlos O'Kellys) but how we treated each other.
I know our relationships change after marriage, it's inevitable. There is a study that has shown the intensity of feelings can physically not be maintained chemically in our brain. That intense "I must be with them every second of every day" feeling. To try to hold on to those feelings is not realistic at all. But what we can and should but don't keep up is the basic courtesy, the deference to each others feelings, the unselfishness, and outward expressions of love on a daily basis. How many marriages might have been saved if these weren't done away with after the "honeymoon" phase ended?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
