Vacation again :) Because we go so often ya know... :)
We are back in Tennessee. Yeah! We've been looking forward to this for months. The last 4 weeks have been sooooooo long. But we are here and relaxing. We are staying with Daniel and Laura Meadow again. It's so good to see them! We are kind of having a stay-cation only in TN. We are just staying in, eating together and hanging out. Laura just had a baby a month ago so we knew this kind of schedule would be good for them too.
So far it's been really uneventful but today Laura and I are going to attempt to go grocery shopping with the kiddos so it could be interesting... More later.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Bullies
May I just say, bullying sucks. I was bullied pretty badly as a child and teenager and I still deal with the consequences. I still hear their voices in my head telling me I'm fat, ugly, stupid, or just not worth common courtesy.
One thing that I've been thinking about lately is how much life changes after high school. Whoever said that it's the best years of our lives was delusional. I see pics/status's on FB and some people have dramatically changed. I am definitely one that is changing. One of the main things I was teased about growing up was my weight. Like, because I was heavy, I didn't have feelings or worth.
Sometimes, I feel like I want to go to those bullies after I've lost the weight and shove it in their faces but I know that wouldn't do any good. Most days, I just want an apology. I want them to admit they were wrong and acknowledge that they hurt me incredibly day in and day out for many years. I want them to tell me it was wrong and they don't make people feel like that anymore. Some days I even want to make them feel like I felt but that usually doesn't last long because I know that no one should be made to feel like I did. No One. Not even the relentless, cruel bullies that pick on the vulnerable ones. Those that make others feel absolutely worthless so they can feel a bit better about themselves.
Bullying is ugly. I've got more to say about this but not tonight. We'll see when it comes out again...
One thing that I've been thinking about lately is how much life changes after high school. Whoever said that it's the best years of our lives was delusional. I see pics/status's on FB and some people have dramatically changed. I am definitely one that is changing. One of the main things I was teased about growing up was my weight. Like, because I was heavy, I didn't have feelings or worth.
Sometimes, I feel like I want to go to those bullies after I've lost the weight and shove it in their faces but I know that wouldn't do any good. Most days, I just want an apology. I want them to admit they were wrong and acknowledge that they hurt me incredibly day in and day out for many years. I want them to tell me it was wrong and they don't make people feel like that anymore. Some days I even want to make them feel like I felt but that usually doesn't last long because I know that no one should be made to feel like I did. No One. Not even the relentless, cruel bullies that pick on the vulnerable ones. Those that make others feel absolutely worthless so they can feel a bit better about themselves.
Bullying is ugly. I've got more to say about this but not tonight. We'll see when it comes out again...
running
All my life I've hated running. I dreaded the mile run every year (several times a year) in gym class and always sucked at it. So why am I running now?
That's right. I'm running as part of my exercise. I'm actually training for a 5k in October! Yesterday I ran 2 miles total. One mile was all in a row. The other mile was split into 2- 1/2 mile stretches. I haven't run a mile since my freshman year of high school and this was much faster. MUCH!
I'm going to tell you something kind of embarrassing... I dream of running and I have for years. Weird huh? I dream of running (pretty) fast and seeing the countryside. I thoroughly enjoy it too.
It's hard to believe that I might someday actually enjoy running. I don't mind it now... but I wouldn't say I'm enjoying it. I hope that by the 12:1 Run in October that I'll enjoy it more. But right now I'm proud of myself for running at all! Can't believe it... after all these years.
That's right. I'm running as part of my exercise. I'm actually training for a 5k in October! Yesterday I ran 2 miles total. One mile was all in a row. The other mile was split into 2- 1/2 mile stretches. I haven't run a mile since my freshman year of high school and this was much faster. MUCH!
I'm going to tell you something kind of embarrassing... I dream of running and I have for years. Weird huh? I dream of running (pretty) fast and seeing the countryside. I thoroughly enjoy it too.
It's hard to believe that I might someday actually enjoy running. I don't mind it now... but I wouldn't say I'm enjoying it. I hope that by the 12:1 Run in October that I'll enjoy it more. But right now I'm proud of myself for running at all! Can't believe it... after all these years.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
7 months later
7 months later...
I am finally getting back to those other changes I promised 7 months ago lol. Actually I don't really remember what other changes I was going to write about back then so I'll talk about the changes that are more recent.
After all the stress mentioned last post, leaving church, my grandmother dying, and losing my job, I was a mess for several months. I had to start working 3 nights a week and still am doing that actually. But with all the stress I put on 10 lbs without even thinking about it. In Febuary I decided this had to stop. I was just starting to diet when I got a call from the Burlington YMCA. They were offering a free 2 week trial. My good friend Ashley had just moved back to the area (love it!!!) and we went together. I ended up taking a discounted rate for 15 months instead of a free 2 weeks and I've been going ever since. I also went to my doctor and she's been great. The best thing she did for me was turn me on the an app called "myfitnesspal". I've been tracking all my food and it really helped me change my eating habits. I've been working out 4-5 days a week and have lost a grand total of...
52 pounds
I still have a long way to go but I feel great. I've not been this weight since I was 19 maybe 20 years old. I'm 3 lbs from the weight I was when I got married and 8 lbs from when I left my freshman year of college. I still need to lose 73 lbs to hit my ideal/healthy weight but I'm on my way. I have a goal of being 8 lbs less when we leave for vacation in 2 weeks but my average weekly weight loss has not been quite that much lately so we'll see. I still feel really good about what I've done so far. The next goal I have after vacation is running a 5k in October. It's the 12:1 run hosted by Harmony Bible Church which is where we are attending now. I feel it combines two passions of mine, providing clean water in the world and fitness goals. It's rare those kind of passions come together so I am thrilled. I have only run 1 mile recently and I am not training as hard as I should but I'm slowly working on it. I have figured out to walk to the highway before I start running and I do better. Running on gravel sucks because I constantly lose my rhythmn when the rocks move under my feet.
So this blog will probably include a lot my fitness stuff since that seems to be what my life revolves around right now. But I'm ok with that. I finally am being a good role model for my daughter and that's extremely important to me. That is a lot of what finally clicked for me. I don't want her to struggle with her weight like I did. I DO NOT want that for her. Bullies are so cruel and it's only gotten worse since I was in school. I admit I fear what bullies could do to her if she is a heavy child. I don't like parenting out of fear but it's something I deal with...
Other things going on right now... Dani starts kindergarten in the fall. I.CAN.NOT.BELIEVE.IT!!!!! She's my one and only. I'll never have a baby, toddler, or preschooler again. I am ok with it but I know I will miss her cuddles and dependance (somewhat) on me. I love watching her grow and change but I know I'll never experience that stage again so it's bittersweet.
She turned 5 on June 15. We had a Princess Tea Party that went over pretty well. The kids didn't quite buy into the concept but still had a lot of fun.
Church is going well. It's an adjustment going to a new church and one that's so big. We are slowly finding friends and our place. Dani still asks about her old class but that doesn't surprise me. She forgets nobody. She asks about people that she met once 2 years ago. Even though she asks about her old friends, she does enjoy her new class. She loved the AWANA class she took last year so she's excited for that to start again in the fall. We have a class we joined shortly after we started attending. It's called Global Life and is all about a the global mindset the gospel demands. We love the concept but have struggled to make relationships outside of the classroom. I think a lot of it is simply time. We came to Burlington First already knowing so many people that we just melted into old relationships. We've never had to go to a completely new place and start from scratch. We do know however, that we are in the right place so we trust relationships will come with time. I have a few ladies that I've gotten to know a little bit and I see some great potential in those friendships. However, in January my good friend Ashley moved back from FL so I've had my need for a friend pretty much met. I know I need to still cultivate other relationships but it certainly slowed my efforts to reach out to other women.
As I mentioned earlier I lost my job at our old church when we left and had to start working at the gas station 3 nights a week. It's worked out that our schedules have worked (for the most part) so we don't have to pay childcare but it's been hard on CJ and I because 3 days a week we literally don't see each other for more than 2-3 minutes. CJ will leave by 5:45am for work and gets off at 4. I clock in at the gas station at 4 so I take Dani and he picks her up from me and takes care of her that evening. I get off at 11(ish) and he's asleep when I get home. It's definatly not ideal but it's what God has provided. I even recently got a promotion to a part-time night manager. It has helped a bit with money but not much. I'm seeking out more responsiblities so I can negociate a bigger raise soon. CJ and I really miss each other through out the week but so far this is the job that God has provided even when we've prayed for something else. We just try to utilize the time we have and enjoy each others company when we're together.
CJ and I are REALLY looking forward to our vacation that's coming up in 2 weeks. We can't afford much but we are going to see our good friends Daniel and Laura Meadow in Erin, TN. We LOVE those two and really miss them! We really have no plans but to hang out and enjoy catching up. Laura recently had a baby so this will work for them too. :) A huge bonus to the vacation is that CJ and I will be together the whole week. We've tried to not let our jobs mess up our marrige and for the most part we've succeeded but we could definetely use the time together to reconnect. Especially after the next couple weeks. I'm having to work 4 days a week since the other managers have been taking their vacations and then they all have the 4 of July holidays they are taking. Since I'm part time I don't get paid vacations so I'm having to fill in when they are gone. It will be good for the checkbook (we took a huge paycut when I lost my job) but bad for family time.
As stressful as our work schedules have been the overall stress levels in our lives has decreased dramatically. It's sad but the stress we were under at our old church was huge. We didn't stay much longer than we felt God wanted, but the stress was still so much! At Harmony we don't feel we have to fight to do the things about which we are passionate. And even though Harmony has Baptist roots (it's nondenominational) we've heard more sermons about Holiness than ever. I love how our Pastor talks about it. It is so in line with what I believe about holiness and it's what I want Dani to learn as well. It's just been great. Not only have we had places to plug in and serve God in ways we're passionate about but we are getting wonderful/challenging preaching. We didn't know if we would get the preaching/teaching aspect when we left the Nazarene church. Honestly we didn't know what to expect but it's been so great to know we didn't lose but actually gained in that area.
Life is vastly different than the last time I blogged. As always I hope to blog again sooner rather than later but I'm done making that promise. :) I have a lot going on certainly but I do genuinely enjoy writing it down, so here's to hoping you can read about it soon :)
I am finally getting back to those other changes I promised 7 months ago lol. Actually I don't really remember what other changes I was going to write about back then so I'll talk about the changes that are more recent.
After all the stress mentioned last post, leaving church, my grandmother dying, and losing my job, I was a mess for several months. I had to start working 3 nights a week and still am doing that actually. But with all the stress I put on 10 lbs without even thinking about it. In Febuary I decided this had to stop. I was just starting to diet when I got a call from the Burlington YMCA. They were offering a free 2 week trial. My good friend Ashley had just moved back to the area (love it!!!) and we went together. I ended up taking a discounted rate for 15 months instead of a free 2 weeks and I've been going ever since. I also went to my doctor and she's been great. The best thing she did for me was turn me on the an app called "myfitnesspal". I've been tracking all my food and it really helped me change my eating habits. I've been working out 4-5 days a week and have lost a grand total of...
52 pounds
I still have a long way to go but I feel great. I've not been this weight since I was 19 maybe 20 years old. I'm 3 lbs from the weight I was when I got married and 8 lbs from when I left my freshman year of college. I still need to lose 73 lbs to hit my ideal/healthy weight but I'm on my way. I have a goal of being 8 lbs less when we leave for vacation in 2 weeks but my average weekly weight loss has not been quite that much lately so we'll see. I still feel really good about what I've done so far. The next goal I have after vacation is running a 5k in October. It's the 12:1 run hosted by Harmony Bible Church which is where we are attending now. I feel it combines two passions of mine, providing clean water in the world and fitness goals. It's rare those kind of passions come together so I am thrilled. I have only run 1 mile recently and I am not training as hard as I should but I'm slowly working on it. I have figured out to walk to the highway before I start running and I do better. Running on gravel sucks because I constantly lose my rhythmn when the rocks move under my feet.
So this blog will probably include a lot my fitness stuff since that seems to be what my life revolves around right now. But I'm ok with that. I finally am being a good role model for my daughter and that's extremely important to me. That is a lot of what finally clicked for me. I don't want her to struggle with her weight like I did. I DO NOT want that for her. Bullies are so cruel and it's only gotten worse since I was in school. I admit I fear what bullies could do to her if she is a heavy child. I don't like parenting out of fear but it's something I deal with...
Other things going on right now... Dani starts kindergarten in the fall. I.CAN.NOT.BELIEVE.IT!!!!! She's my one and only. I'll never have a baby, toddler, or preschooler again. I am ok with it but I know I will miss her cuddles and dependance (somewhat) on me. I love watching her grow and change but I know I'll never experience that stage again so it's bittersweet.
She turned 5 on June 15. We had a Princess Tea Party that went over pretty well. The kids didn't quite buy into the concept but still had a lot of fun.
Church is going well. It's an adjustment going to a new church and one that's so big. We are slowly finding friends and our place. Dani still asks about her old class but that doesn't surprise me. She forgets nobody. She asks about people that she met once 2 years ago. Even though she asks about her old friends, she does enjoy her new class. She loved the AWANA class she took last year so she's excited for that to start again in the fall. We have a class we joined shortly after we started attending. It's called Global Life and is all about a the global mindset the gospel demands. We love the concept but have struggled to make relationships outside of the classroom. I think a lot of it is simply time. We came to Burlington First already knowing so many people that we just melted into old relationships. We've never had to go to a completely new place and start from scratch. We do know however, that we are in the right place so we trust relationships will come with time. I have a few ladies that I've gotten to know a little bit and I see some great potential in those friendships. However, in January my good friend Ashley moved back from FL so I've had my need for a friend pretty much met. I know I need to still cultivate other relationships but it certainly slowed my efforts to reach out to other women.
As I mentioned earlier I lost my job at our old church when we left and had to start working at the gas station 3 nights a week. It's worked out that our schedules have worked (for the most part) so we don't have to pay childcare but it's been hard on CJ and I because 3 days a week we literally don't see each other for more than 2-3 minutes. CJ will leave by 5:45am for work and gets off at 4. I clock in at the gas station at 4 so I take Dani and he picks her up from me and takes care of her that evening. I get off at 11(ish) and he's asleep when I get home. It's definatly not ideal but it's what God has provided. I even recently got a promotion to a part-time night manager. It has helped a bit with money but not much. I'm seeking out more responsiblities so I can negociate a bigger raise soon. CJ and I really miss each other through out the week but so far this is the job that God has provided even when we've prayed for something else. We just try to utilize the time we have and enjoy each others company when we're together.
CJ and I are REALLY looking forward to our vacation that's coming up in 2 weeks. We can't afford much but we are going to see our good friends Daniel and Laura Meadow in Erin, TN. We LOVE those two and really miss them! We really have no plans but to hang out and enjoy catching up. Laura recently had a baby so this will work for them too. :) A huge bonus to the vacation is that CJ and I will be together the whole week. We've tried to not let our jobs mess up our marrige and for the most part we've succeeded but we could definetely use the time together to reconnect. Especially after the next couple weeks. I'm having to work 4 days a week since the other managers have been taking their vacations and then they all have the 4 of July holidays they are taking. Since I'm part time I don't get paid vacations so I'm having to fill in when they are gone. It will be good for the checkbook (we took a huge paycut when I lost my job) but bad for family time.
As stressful as our work schedules have been the overall stress levels in our lives has decreased dramatically. It's sad but the stress we were under at our old church was huge. We didn't stay much longer than we felt God wanted, but the stress was still so much! At Harmony we don't feel we have to fight to do the things about which we are passionate. And even though Harmony has Baptist roots (it's nondenominational) we've heard more sermons about Holiness than ever. I love how our Pastor talks about it. It is so in line with what I believe about holiness and it's what I want Dani to learn as well. It's just been great. Not only have we had places to plug in and serve God in ways we're passionate about but we are getting wonderful/challenging preaching. We didn't know if we would get the preaching/teaching aspect when we left the Nazarene church. Honestly we didn't know what to expect but it's been so great to know we didn't lose but actually gained in that area.
Life is vastly different than the last time I blogged. As always I hope to blog again sooner rather than later but I'm done making that promise. :) I have a lot going on certainly but I do genuinely enjoy writing it down, so here's to hoping you can read about it soon :)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Lots of changes
Obviously, I've not written in quite a while and I'm not even going to apologize this time :) There has been so much going on in my life that I just could express all my thoughts in words yet. Also, many things I WANTED to write about, just weren't something I want the whole world to read...
First big change, CJ and I have left our home church, Burlington First Church of the Nazarene. And because of that (somewhat because of that at least) I have lost my job as janitor. This decision has been a huge one that has taken a lot of my mental energy I would like to use for other things. (including blogging/journaling) One of the main reasons I've not written about this is because, I'm not going to publicly share the reasons why. There were conflicts and we disagreed with how things were being handled. We had felt God leading us to leave for awhile but my job held us there, so we wouldn't even truly consider it. Then there were the conflicts mentioned earlier and we knew God was "kicking us out". It was clear. It was very sad to leave. I grew up in that church. CJ and I were married there and Dani was dedicated there as well. So many memories...
Three weeks ago, my grandmother died. That, of course, was very hard. I've never lost a grandparent. It sucks. Although, my grandma was 96, sick and so ready to go home to the father of her children (he died before I was born) and her two children who went before her, it still sucked. I found out I'd lost my job one week and the next, she died. I had a very emotional two weeks to say the least. The visitation was extremely hard. I just didn't want to be there. There were very many well-meaning people who came to support me and my family but many of them asked about the church, why we left and if we were ok with it. I just couldn't deal. I didn't want to talk about it, I felt so betrayed and hurt. I just wanted to focus on Grandma. I pretty much avoided most everybody until I left. The funeral was good however. Hard, but good. I only really broke twice. Once when a conversation I had with her in the hospice house was mentioned (I didn't know that was coming) and when my cousin read the Christmas story. I know, I know, why did he read it? Let me explain... Every Christmas my Grandma made us read the Christmas story from Luke before we ever did anything else at our family's get-together. She made one of the 4 pastors/grandsons (depending on who was there) read it from her KJV red letter Bible. Every year we heard it, from the time we were babies. Never skipped it. Many of us cousins were talking at the visitation about how that's one our favorite memories of get-togethers and how we would miss that now that we probably would only see each other at reunions and such. We decided that we had to hear it one last time... I cried through the whole thing. My brother, Donnie, actually did her funeral. I admired him for it. I couldn't have done it. If you want to read a beautiful sermon about a wonderful woman here is a link to his blog where he posted the sermon in full. A few things changed as he read it but the content is pretty much identical.
There are many more things going on but those have been the two biggest changes/events lately. I'll blog more soon about others.
First big change, CJ and I have left our home church, Burlington First Church of the Nazarene. And because of that (somewhat because of that at least) I have lost my job as janitor. This decision has been a huge one that has taken a lot of my mental energy I would like to use for other things. (including blogging/journaling) One of the main reasons I've not written about this is because, I'm not going to publicly share the reasons why. There were conflicts and we disagreed with how things were being handled. We had felt God leading us to leave for awhile but my job held us there, so we wouldn't even truly consider it. Then there were the conflicts mentioned earlier and we knew God was "kicking us out". It was clear. It was very sad to leave. I grew up in that church. CJ and I were married there and Dani was dedicated there as well. So many memories...
Three weeks ago, my grandmother died. That, of course, was very hard. I've never lost a grandparent. It sucks. Although, my grandma was 96, sick and so ready to go home to the father of her children (he died before I was born) and her two children who went before her, it still sucked. I found out I'd lost my job one week and the next, she died. I had a very emotional two weeks to say the least. The visitation was extremely hard. I just didn't want to be there. There were very many well-meaning people who came to support me and my family but many of them asked about the church, why we left and if we were ok with it. I just couldn't deal. I didn't want to talk about it, I felt so betrayed and hurt. I just wanted to focus on Grandma. I pretty much avoided most everybody until I left. The funeral was good however. Hard, but good. I only really broke twice. Once when a conversation I had with her in the hospice house was mentioned (I didn't know that was coming) and when my cousin read the Christmas story. I know, I know, why did he read it? Let me explain... Every Christmas my Grandma made us read the Christmas story from Luke before we ever did anything else at our family's get-together. She made one of the 4 pastors/grandsons (depending on who was there) read it from her KJV red letter Bible. Every year we heard it, from the time we were babies. Never skipped it. Many of us cousins were talking at the visitation about how that's one our favorite memories of get-togethers and how we would miss that now that we probably would only see each other at reunions and such. We decided that we had to hear it one last time... I cried through the whole thing. My brother, Donnie, actually did her funeral. I admired him for it. I couldn't have done it. If you want to read a beautiful sermon about a wonderful woman here is a link to his blog where he posted the sermon in full. A few things changed as he read it but the content is pretty much identical.
There are many more things going on but those have been the two biggest changes/events lately. I'll blog more soon about others.
Monday, July 4, 2011
4th of July
Below is an article Greg Boyd wrote for Relevant magazine. You can find the original link here
I am thankful to live in a country that acknowledges people have rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” and that empowers citizens to influence how they are governed. I know how rare such freedom has been throughout history, and how costly it has been to acquire and protect. I’m also proud of many other ideals America stands for, such as the principle that all people are created equal (though, we’re obviously still in the process of living up to this one). So, I see no problem with an American Christian being patriotic.
At the same time, followers of Jesus need to be very careful. History shows us how easy it is for Christians to forget that the Kingdom Jesus came to establish is “not of this world” (John 18:36, TNIV). And it’s to His Kingdom we are to pledge our sole allegiance.
Throughout history we find Christians buying the age-old pagan lie that God uniquely favors their country, and their national enemies are God’s enemies. Believing that lie, patriotic Christians have tragically followed the orders of earthly rulers and marched into battle “for God and country,” rather than following the example of Jesus—who gave His life for the people who persecuted Him.
Ironically, in some cases the “enemies” Christians have slaughtered have been other patriotic Christians who happened to be born in other countries, or other parts of the same country. Few things have done more to discredit Christianity than the patriotic zeal with which Christians have participated in violence.
“Whoever claims to live in him,” John teaches us, “must live as Jesus did” (1 John 2:6). When we compromise our commitment to living and loving like Jesus, we’ve crossed the line between healthy and idolatrous patriotism. Jesus and Paul repeatedly command us to love, bless, pray for and do good to our enemies, and to never retaliate or resort to violence. It’s healthy to patriotically appreciate the positive aspects of our country and our form of government. But we’re putting that patriotism in front of God the moment our allegiance to our country motivates us to kill our enemies rather than to die for them. And anything in our lives that comes before God is idolatry.
The danger of idolatrous patriotism is not just about how we compromise our love for enemies. If we become too invested in our nation, we can forget our real citizenship is in heaven (Philippians 1:27) and our job is to live as ambassadors of Christ ( 2 Corinthians 5:20). Rather than manifesting the distinctive values of the Kingdom of God, we can begin to assume the ideals of our culture are Kingdom values.
I appreciate that America recognizes my rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” but there is nothing distinctly Kingdom about these rights. They’re nowhere to be found in the Bible. To the contrary, as a follower of Jesus I’m called to surrender my rights to life, liberty and happiness, and instead submit to the will of God. These rights are noble on a political level, but they can get in the way of my call to seek first the Kingdom. I’m grateful America extends these rights to people, for most countries throughout history have not. But my sole allegiance is to the heavenly Kingdom that calls me to surrender my rights. If I get too concerned with an earthly country that frees me to pursue my rights, my healthy patriotism becomes idolatrous. I’ve put my country’s ideals before God.
Along similar lines, history consistently shows when we forget we’re “foreigners” and “exiles” in this world, we can begin to associate our preferred form of government or politics too closely with the Kingdom of God. Here, too, it’s crucial we follow the example of Jesus.
Despite the fact that He lived in an age when plenty of political and nationalistic issues were being hotly debated, Jesus never displayed the slightest interest in such matters. He didn’t come to bring us a “new and improved” version of the Kingdom of the world. He came to inaugurate a Kingdom that is “not of this world.” It’s a Kingdom that is no more Israeli than it is Palestinian; no more American than it is Iraqi; and no more socialist than it is democratic. Instead, it’s a Kingdom that encompasses people from every nation and political persuasion, for it puts on display the “one new humanity” Jesus died to create (Ephesians 2:15). In this Kingdom, Paul declares, there is no longer any Jew or Greek (Galatians 3:27-29). In our Kingdom, all national, tribal, ethnic, gender, social and economic distinctions are insignificant.
So over the Fourth of July weekend—and all year—be appreciative of your country. Be patriotic. But make sure your patriotism pales in comparison to your sacrifice, commitment and allegiance to the Kingdom of God.
I am thankful to live in a country that acknowledges people have rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” and that empowers citizens to influence how they are governed. I know how rare such freedom has been throughout history, and how costly it has been to acquire and protect. I’m also proud of many other ideals America stands for, such as the principle that all people are created equal (though, we’re obviously still in the process of living up to this one). So, I see no problem with an American Christian being patriotic.
At the same time, followers of Jesus need to be very careful. History shows us how easy it is for Christians to forget that the Kingdom Jesus came to establish is “not of this world” (John 18:36, TNIV). And it’s to His Kingdom we are to pledge our sole allegiance.
Throughout history we find Christians buying the age-old pagan lie that God uniquely favors their country, and their national enemies are God’s enemies. Believing that lie, patriotic Christians have tragically followed the orders of earthly rulers and marched into battle “for God and country,” rather than following the example of Jesus—who gave His life for the people who persecuted Him.
Ironically, in some cases the “enemies” Christians have slaughtered have been other patriotic Christians who happened to be born in other countries, or other parts of the same country. Few things have done more to discredit Christianity than the patriotic zeal with which Christians have participated in violence.
“Whoever claims to live in him,” John teaches us, “must live as Jesus did” (1 John 2:6). When we compromise our commitment to living and loving like Jesus, we’ve crossed the line between healthy and idolatrous patriotism. Jesus and Paul repeatedly command us to love, bless, pray for and do good to our enemies, and to never retaliate or resort to violence. It’s healthy to patriotically appreciate the positive aspects of our country and our form of government. But we’re putting that patriotism in front of God the moment our allegiance to our country motivates us to kill our enemies rather than to die for them. And anything in our lives that comes before God is idolatry.
The danger of idolatrous patriotism is not just about how we compromise our love for enemies. If we become too invested in our nation, we can forget our real citizenship is in heaven (Philippians 1:27) and our job is to live as ambassadors of Christ ( 2 Corinthians 5:20). Rather than manifesting the distinctive values of the Kingdom of God, we can begin to assume the ideals of our culture are Kingdom values.
I appreciate that America recognizes my rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” but there is nothing distinctly Kingdom about these rights. They’re nowhere to be found in the Bible. To the contrary, as a follower of Jesus I’m called to surrender my rights to life, liberty and happiness, and instead submit to the will of God. These rights are noble on a political level, but they can get in the way of my call to seek first the Kingdom. I’m grateful America extends these rights to people, for most countries throughout history have not. But my sole allegiance is to the heavenly Kingdom that calls me to surrender my rights. If I get too concerned with an earthly country that frees me to pursue my rights, my healthy patriotism becomes idolatrous. I’ve put my country’s ideals before God.
Along similar lines, history consistently shows when we forget we’re “foreigners” and “exiles” in this world, we can begin to associate our preferred form of government or politics too closely with the Kingdom of God. Here, too, it’s crucial we follow the example of Jesus.
Despite the fact that He lived in an age when plenty of political and nationalistic issues were being hotly debated, Jesus never displayed the slightest interest in such matters. He didn’t come to bring us a “new and improved” version of the Kingdom of the world. He came to inaugurate a Kingdom that is “not of this world.” It’s a Kingdom that is no more Israeli than it is Palestinian; no more American than it is Iraqi; and no more socialist than it is democratic. Instead, it’s a Kingdom that encompasses people from every nation and political persuasion, for it puts on display the “one new humanity” Jesus died to create (Ephesians 2:15). In this Kingdom, Paul declares, there is no longer any Jew or Greek (Galatians 3:27-29). In our Kingdom, all national, tribal, ethnic, gender, social and economic distinctions are insignificant.
So over the Fourth of July weekend—and all year—be appreciative of your country. Be patriotic. But make sure your patriotism pales in comparison to your sacrifice, commitment and allegiance to the Kingdom of God.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Reflective
Honestly, I'm not sure what this blog entry is going to be about... I feel like I want to put my feelings to "paper" but I'm not quite sure what exactly I'm feeling...
I'm thinking about my life, the changes that have happened recently and not-so-recently and where we are headed.
I'm thinking about Dani, my spit-fire of a daughter that is asleep in the next room. I'm thinking about how Dani entering our life changed our future so dramatically. We moved back to Iowa (which we said we'd never do) we worry about money and we depend on my parents more than we ever did as newlyweds. However, we also sometimes just sit and marvel at this incredible human being that is in our lives. We laugh at the cute things she says and does. We feel a love for someone that is even more profound, deep and selfless than we have for each other. We learn about God's love by watching her through our own eyes.
I'm thinking about the love on my life, CJ. This past week I saw a side of him I haven't seen in years. His depression seemed to have lifted (thanks in no small part to an old friend) for a while to allow me to see the man I fell in love with 13 years ago. I saw his heart, sensitivity and kindness that I have missed for a very long time. Don't get me wrong, please. I love him even when I don't always see "the man I fell in love with". Even with his depression firmly in place (which for most that have chronic depression-it usually is) he is a man worthy of respect, love and admiration. I love him more today that I did 13, 10, 5 or even 2 years ago. The depression presents challenges but none that make me question that he is the man I want to wake up next to until the day I just don't wake up. He is faithful, loyal, honest, hardworking, forgiving, talented, and sexy. If the depression is something I have to deal with to be with him, that's ok with me. I'd rather deal with that than some issues I see friends deal with with their husbands or wives. He never gives me a moments hesitation that he is committed to me and our little girl. He never deliberately hurts those he loves and he is quick to say he's sorry for undeliberate hurts. I love him so much.
I'm thinking about our life now. The good and the bad. Our move from Olathe has had many ups and downs. We wouldn't trade our life in Olathe for anything for Dani's sake. She is close to all of her grandparents. She sees them regularly and receives so much love from them. I never had that. I was not close to my grandparents at all and I smile when I see my parents and in-laws love on Dani each time they see her. Moving was the best thing we could have done for Dani. For CJ and me however, it's been difficult. We left many friends, a vibrant and healthy church and a totally different lifestyle. We have yet to feel at home here in many ways.
I'm thinking about the future. Dani starts preschool in the fall-she's growing up so fast. Our views differ greatly from the church we attend and the gap just seems to be widening-will we still be there in 2 years? We still miss our closest friends-will we ever find friends as good as we had in Olathe? Dani's such a spitfire-what will she be like in 2, 10, 15 years? We've decided to avoid the heartache of more years of infertility-will we regret only having one child?
So many feelings running through my heart tonight.
I'm thinking about my life, the changes that have happened recently and not-so-recently and where we are headed.
I'm thinking about Dani, my spit-fire of a daughter that is asleep in the next room. I'm thinking about how Dani entering our life changed our future so dramatically. We moved back to Iowa (which we said we'd never do) we worry about money and we depend on my parents more than we ever did as newlyweds. However, we also sometimes just sit and marvel at this incredible human being that is in our lives. We laugh at the cute things she says and does. We feel a love for someone that is even more profound, deep and selfless than we have for each other. We learn about God's love by watching her through our own eyes.
I'm thinking about the love on my life, CJ. This past week I saw a side of him I haven't seen in years. His depression seemed to have lifted (thanks in no small part to an old friend) for a while to allow me to see the man I fell in love with 13 years ago. I saw his heart, sensitivity and kindness that I have missed for a very long time. Don't get me wrong, please. I love him even when I don't always see "the man I fell in love with". Even with his depression firmly in place (which for most that have chronic depression-it usually is) he is a man worthy of respect, love and admiration. I love him more today that I did 13, 10, 5 or even 2 years ago. The depression presents challenges but none that make me question that he is the man I want to wake up next to until the day I just don't wake up. He is faithful, loyal, honest, hardworking, forgiving, talented, and sexy. If the depression is something I have to deal with to be with him, that's ok with me. I'd rather deal with that than some issues I see friends deal with with their husbands or wives. He never gives me a moments hesitation that he is committed to me and our little girl. He never deliberately hurts those he loves and he is quick to say he's sorry for undeliberate hurts. I love him so much.
I'm thinking about our life now. The good and the bad. Our move from Olathe has had many ups and downs. We wouldn't trade our life in Olathe for anything for Dani's sake. She is close to all of her grandparents. She sees them regularly and receives so much love from them. I never had that. I was not close to my grandparents at all and I smile when I see my parents and in-laws love on Dani each time they see her. Moving was the best thing we could have done for Dani. For CJ and me however, it's been difficult. We left many friends, a vibrant and healthy church and a totally different lifestyle. We have yet to feel at home here in many ways.
I'm thinking about the future. Dani starts preschool in the fall-she's growing up so fast. Our views differ greatly from the church we attend and the gap just seems to be widening-will we still be there in 2 years? We still miss our closest friends-will we ever find friends as good as we had in Olathe? Dani's such a spitfire-what will she be like in 2, 10, 15 years? We've decided to avoid the heartache of more years of infertility-will we regret only having one child?
So many feelings running through my heart tonight.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Vacation
WE ARE IN TENNESSEE!
We are visiting our friends Daniel and Laura Meadow outside Nashville, TN. Yesterday CJ, Dani and I visited the Nashville Zoo.
It was flippin' HOT! It was about 100 degrees and humid but we still had fun :) I'll hopefully blog more but right now I just wanted to add some pics.
We are visiting our friends Daniel and Laura Meadow outside Nashville, TN. Yesterday CJ, Dani and I visited the Nashville Zoo.
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| We got a great show at the Elephant area. |
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| You can't see it really well but there was a huge elephant right behind us! |
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| Me and Dani at the giraffes |
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| Riding the "train" |
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| The Carousel was her reward for being good that day |
Friday, June 17, 2011
11 Year Anniversary
I was 19. CJ had just turned 23 four days before. We were best friends turned friends in love and had spent the last 18 months planning our perfect wedding. We invited all our friends and family and had 300 guests. I spent the morning getting ready at the church, along with my mom and bridesmaids. I was relaxed and confident that the day was going to perfect. It was.
At 11am, CJ and I saw each other for the first time in the sanctuary as I walked down the isle alone to where he was standing on stage. I know people were peeking through the windows in the back but it was a private moment between my soon-to-be husband and his bride. Pictures (millions of them) would start in 15 minutes but we were in our own little world. I don't remember what we talked about but I remember how ridiculously happy I was the whole time. Our photographer discreetly took some pictures before she gave us our privacy and both of us are beaming at each other. My favorite wedding picture is from this time.
Fast forward through pictures and lunch and it's 2pm--time for the ceremony. We had tons of music; 5 songs plus the processional and recessional music. The ceremony was just over an hour but I thought it passed in minutes. 5 songs leave a lot of time to just stand there but those times were my favorite parts of the ceremony. Of course, I loved to say our vows and hear the words passed down from generation to generation but during the songs we just talked. People told us later how they thought we'd never shut up! I didn't care! We were having a ball! On our video I love seeing us laugh and joke with each other. I looked like I slept with a hanger in my mouth my smile was so big, lol. I DO remember some of what we said, but not most of it. But again, I remember how ridiculously happy I was through the whole ceremony. I cried (everybody cried) during my "Daddy" song but never again the ceremony. (CJ cried more than I did :)) I was too stinkin' happy!
On June 17, 2000 I married my best friend. I love him more today, 11 years later. We've weathered many ups and downs but we've come out on the other side stronger and more committed. Love you C. With all my heart.
At 11am, CJ and I saw each other for the first time in the sanctuary as I walked down the isle alone to where he was standing on stage. I know people were peeking through the windows in the back but it was a private moment between my soon-to-be husband and his bride. Pictures (millions of them) would start in 15 minutes but we were in our own little world. I don't remember what we talked about but I remember how ridiculously happy I was the whole time. Our photographer discreetly took some pictures before she gave us our privacy and both of us are beaming at each other. My favorite wedding picture is from this time.
Fast forward through pictures and lunch and it's 2pm--time for the ceremony. We had tons of music; 5 songs plus the processional and recessional music. The ceremony was just over an hour but I thought it passed in minutes. 5 songs leave a lot of time to just stand there but those times were my favorite parts of the ceremony. Of course, I loved to say our vows and hear the words passed down from generation to generation but during the songs we just talked. People told us later how they thought we'd never shut up! I didn't care! We were having a ball! On our video I love seeing us laugh and joke with each other. I looked like I slept with a hanger in my mouth my smile was so big, lol. I DO remember some of what we said, but not most of it. But again, I remember how ridiculously happy I was through the whole ceremony. I cried (everybody cried) during my "Daddy" song but never again the ceremony. (CJ cried more than I did :)) I was too stinkin' happy!
On June 17, 2000 I married my best friend. I love him more today, 11 years later. We've weathered many ups and downs but we've come out on the other side stronger and more committed. Love you C. With all my heart.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
A needed break
Well, it's been a while. A long while. But a much needed break. If you read back a couple entries, you know I had a lot going on in my life. Lots of drama, and I don't do drama well. My "blog mind" kinda shut down. Every time I'd think about blogging I'd clam up so I figured I needed to stop for awhile.
Lately, I've been wanting to write again, so here I am.
Life is hectic but full right now. This week is full of special days. Saturday was Dani's birthday party, Monday was CJ's birthday, Wednesday is Dani's actual birthday, Friday is our 11th wedding anniversary AND we leave for vacation in TN. Busy, busy week (we will also celebrate fathers day on the next Sunday). I'm a little frantic but loving it. Our good friends Ben and Josie have made it a little easier for me by keeping Dani yesterday night and all day today. I'm actually going to leave as soon as I'm done here to go get her. CJ and I were able to go out last night to celebrate his 34th birthday and today I worked on laundry and packing for vacation. So thanks Ben and Josie!!!
Vacation is almost here and we are READY!!! We are going to visit some good friends (that we miss dreadfully) that live outside Nashville. Daniel and Laura Meadow were our closest friends when we lived in KC. Then they moved :( We miss them a lot, did I say that already? We unfortunately are not as close now as we were then but we know they are there when we need them or vice versa. They are some of the few people we call when we have a huge problem and luckily we've been able to return the favor a few times. Love, love, love them! Can't wait to see them again!
My other good friend, Ashley Vance has moved to Florida. Stinkin' Florida! Soooooo far away and I miss her dearly. I saw her a lot when they lived in MN (she visited a lot) and then she actually lived here in Burlington for 2 months before she moved to FL. I got spoiled let me tell ya. I miss her laugh, funny faces and sarcastic, irreverent sense of humor. I love that girl and hate that I can't jump on a plane this very instant to give her a hug. I know we will stay close ( I call her all the time :)) but it's just not the same.
Dani is doing well. She is finally POTTY TRAINED!!!!!! I don't know if I blogged previously about the fact that she finally decided it was time or not. But my little girl finally figured that she wasn't going to fight that battle anymore and she gave in! Yeah! I don't miss diapers in the least! She's going to turn 4 tomorrow and I can't believe it. AND she's going to start preschool in the fall. This should not be. I love her more each day and can't believe my baby is going to be going to school. She's so cute but sassy. Her attitude is our battle now. Not really arrogant or whatever, but just defiant when she doesn't want to do something. Telling me that she's not going to do something I asked her to do, things like that. But I guess that's normal. :)
I have a lot more in my head but they will all take their own blog posts so I'm going to close for now. Later!
Lately, I've been wanting to write again, so here I am.
Life is hectic but full right now. This week is full of special days. Saturday was Dani's birthday party, Monday was CJ's birthday, Wednesday is Dani's actual birthday, Friday is our 11th wedding anniversary AND we leave for vacation in TN. Busy, busy week (we will also celebrate fathers day on the next Sunday). I'm a little frantic but loving it. Our good friends Ben and Josie have made it a little easier for me by keeping Dani yesterday night and all day today. I'm actually going to leave as soon as I'm done here to go get her. CJ and I were able to go out last night to celebrate his 34th birthday and today I worked on laundry and packing for vacation. So thanks Ben and Josie!!!
Vacation is almost here and we are READY!!! We are going to visit some good friends (that we miss dreadfully) that live outside Nashville. Daniel and Laura Meadow were our closest friends when we lived in KC. Then they moved :( We miss them a lot, did I say that already? We unfortunately are not as close now as we were then but we know they are there when we need them or vice versa. They are some of the few people we call when we have a huge problem and luckily we've been able to return the favor a few times. Love, love, love them! Can't wait to see them again!
My other good friend, Ashley Vance has moved to Florida. Stinkin' Florida! Soooooo far away and I miss her dearly. I saw her a lot when they lived in MN (she visited a lot) and then she actually lived here in Burlington for 2 months before she moved to FL. I got spoiled let me tell ya. I miss her laugh, funny faces and sarcastic, irreverent sense of humor. I love that girl and hate that I can't jump on a plane this very instant to give her a hug. I know we will stay close ( I call her all the time :)) but it's just not the same.
Dani is doing well. She is finally POTTY TRAINED!!!!!! I don't know if I blogged previously about the fact that she finally decided it was time or not. But my little girl finally figured that she wasn't going to fight that battle anymore and she gave in! Yeah! I don't miss diapers in the least! She's going to turn 4 tomorrow and I can't believe it. AND she's going to start preschool in the fall. This should not be. I love her more each day and can't believe my baby is going to be going to school. She's so cute but sassy. Her attitude is our battle now. Not really arrogant or whatever, but just defiant when she doesn't want to do something. Telling me that she's not going to do something I asked her to do, things like that. But I guess that's normal. :)
I have a lot more in my head but they will all take their own blog posts so I'm going to close for now. Later!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Week 2
Another update. It's going ok, I only exercised once this week but I'm watching what I'm eating and I lost 5 lbs! I did exercise today so hopefully this week is off to a better start. God bless Dani. She thinks exercising is fun so she asked me to exercise today after we'd been up for about 2 1/2 hours. So I did. That was a great motivation. Hopefully she'll keep it up. Who needs a support group when you've got Dani :)
I went to the Doctor yesterday as a follow up to my blood pressure, it was down again 133/94 but it's still too high, boo. So off to my family practitioner to see if I need to be on blood pressure meds. I've decided to stay on the birth control and just suck it up and take meds until I no longer need to do so. Hopefully, that will be soon. Thanks for the encouragement I've received from some of you. I really do appreciate it.
I went to the Doctor yesterday as a follow up to my blood pressure, it was down again 133/94 but it's still too high, boo. So off to my family practitioner to see if I need to be on blood pressure meds. I've decided to stay on the birth control and just suck it up and take meds until I no longer need to do so. Hopefully, that will be soon. Thanks for the encouragement I've received from some of you. I really do appreciate it.
Mice
Have I ever told you all that I have a slight phobia of mice? Ok, it's not slight! I am terrified of mice! This is the one thing I absolutely hate about living in the country. We get mice all the time, especially in the fall after they are run out of the fields. Did I mention we are surrounded by fields? Yuck! I have had some especially messed up run ins with mice this year, I won't bore you (or amuse you, some of them are doozies) with all of them but after today's I just had to write it.
We've been trying to catch a certain mouse for about a week now, no can do. But I've noticed less "evidence" lately so I checked my mouse bait and noticed one had definitely been gotten into. So I figured it had gone off and died somewhere. (yes!) Adios and good riddance
I was getting Dani dressed when I notice mice droppings in Dani's bottom drawer. Eeew. So I went to see if it was just the one on top or if it was more. I picked up a handful of tights and saw a mouse! OH MY GOSH!!!!! I almost touched it!!!! It was dead but looked little. The one I'd seen I was sure was bigger than that.
This is where I really tried to overcome my fears. I decided I couldn't leave it in the drawer and since it was dead I would grab something long ( was NOT going to touch it even with gloves on) and get it into a plastic sack to throw outside till CJ could dispose of it. (thank goodness he's not scared of mice, he does all mice getting) So I grabbed a wooden spoon I never use and started moving the tights around when I see another small mouse in a different spot! OH MY GOSH!!!! I realized that I think it's a nest and the mother took the bait back as food. That was WAY too much for me to handle and I just couldn't have it in my house anymore and there was no way in heck I was going to try to be brave anymore! That was a lost cause to begin with, I don't know what I was thinking. So her drawer is sitting outside on our porch until CJ gets home at 7pm tonight. First thing he's gonna do tonight is get those things out of range of the house and shake out all the clothes, sanitize the drawer and then wash all the clothes those things touched! Living in the country is just making this phobia worse. Mice are proving to me they are as bad as I have feared since I was 6 years old!
We've been trying to catch a certain mouse for about a week now, no can do. But I've noticed less "evidence" lately so I checked my mouse bait and noticed one had definitely been gotten into. So I figured it had gone off and died somewhere. (yes!) Adios and good riddance
I was getting Dani dressed when I notice mice droppings in Dani's bottom drawer. Eeew. So I went to see if it was just the one on top or if it was more. I picked up a handful of tights and saw a mouse! OH MY GOSH!!!!! I almost touched it!!!! It was dead but looked little. The one I'd seen I was sure was bigger than that.
This is where I really tried to overcome my fears. I decided I couldn't leave it in the drawer and since it was dead I would grab something long ( was NOT going to touch it even with gloves on) and get it into a plastic sack to throw outside till CJ could dispose of it. (thank goodness he's not scared of mice, he does all mice getting) So I grabbed a wooden spoon I never use and started moving the tights around when I see another small mouse in a different spot! OH MY GOSH!!!! I realized that I think it's a nest and the mother took the bait back as food. That was WAY too much for me to handle and I just couldn't have it in my house anymore and there was no way in heck I was going to try to be brave anymore! That was a lost cause to begin with, I don't know what I was thinking. So her drawer is sitting outside on our porch until CJ gets home at 7pm tonight. First thing he's gonna do tonight is get those things out of range of the house and shake out all the clothes, sanitize the drawer and then wash all the clothes those things touched! Living in the country is just making this phobia worse. Mice are proving to me they are as bad as I have feared since I was 6 years old!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Week 1
I am making myself follow up! This week has been ok, not great but kinda what I expected. I have exercised twice, and been focusing on cutting out junk food. I haven't lost weight but today when I went to the doctor for my blood pressure check it was 142/91. Still too high but lower than last week.
Dani got sick Thursday night and is still sick so that has been a hindrance to my exercising. That, and the fact that I started a new job that I work from home for, so my free time has been monopolized by that. I really have no set schedule at home so time management is really my downfall. I'm working on that. I hope this doesn't all sound like excuses, it's just what I've noticed to be my stumbling blocks to exercising.
So there ya go, week one down.
Dani got sick Thursday night and is still sick so that has been a hindrance to my exercising. That, and the fact that I started a new job that I work from home for, so my free time has been monopolized by that. I really have no set schedule at home so time management is really my downfall. I'm working on that. I hope this doesn't all sound like excuses, it's just what I've noticed to be my stumbling blocks to exercising.
So there ya go, week one down.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
wake up call
I've been telling myself for about 6 months that I want to feel better, look better and be better in my 30's. I have been overweight and self conscious since I was a young teen. I had an undiagnosed case of insulin resistance for 10 years which made me hungry ALL THE TIME. So for ten years I built habits that I've yet to break. I've been on diets for most of my life till Dani was born. After Dani was born, it was as if I just couldn't worry about it anymore so I stop "dieting". I actually have been able to lose weight over the last 3 years but it has been slow and very undeliberate. However, I have been realizing things are only going to get worse the older I get. I'm going to develop diabetes, have high blood pressure and possibly die of a heart attack. These are facts I just haven't wanted to face. Today I got a huge wake up call.
That being said, let me explain a little history. I have PCOS and have been on birth control pills since I was a teen to control my erratic periods. Once we decided to have Dani, I've pretty much been off birth control pills. Even after Dani was born, we never went back on the pill. Months ago, I went to the Doctor to discuss my birth control options since we officially decided to not try for a 2nd child. I was told progesterone only birth control was my best option because the pill and patch have estrogen which can raise your blood pressure (and condoms just weren't an option anymore). My current blood pressure was fine but he didn't want to mess that up. So I went with Implanon, which is like Mirena but it goes in your arm for 3 years. It was a horrific mess. Within 2 weeks I was ready to rip it out myself! I was an exhausted, hormonal mess (worse than when I was pregnant) with NO sex drive. It was awful to say the least. So I had it taken out. I really had no viable options left except the pill. I went on Ortho-tricyclen Low a month and a half ago. I went in today for a follow up feeling really good about it. I feel pretty good, I've lost 3 pounds and haven't had any side effects. My blood pressure was 147/97!!!!! That is really really bad! So, I am going to be monitored for the next 2 weeks and then if it doesn't go down, I either have to go off it or I have to go on blood pressure medication. I am 29! I kinda freaked out. I haven't really let anybody know how much that truly scared me.
But, I have decided to break the habits that have ruled me for over 15 years. I am going to exercise, eat right and lose weight. I AM going to feel better in my 30's!
Today, I started exercising. This is the part that I've never been able to stick with so I'm most nervous about. Any weight I've lost since Dani was born has been just from eating less and/or healthier. But I know exercise is essential to lowering my blood pressure so I HAVE to stick it out. I know I also need to stick to a stricter diet.
I am setting goals to lose 15 pounds by Christmas and 20 by my 30th birthday which is Jan 13. Of course that is no where close to my ideal weight but I know I need to set small goals. I would love to be below my "wedding" weight by the time I'm 31 and that's very doable. I would just need to lose 3 lbs a month for the next year after I lose the 20 lbs set for my coming birthday. (Actually, I would be almost 10lbs lighter than I was at my wedding) If I can do that again the next year, I would be the weight I was when I was flippin' 12!!! That's crazy. And doable. 36 lbs in a year seems little considering how many times I've lost 20lbs and then gained them back. However, I know it's going to be tough. But I am sick of being fat! I have been thinking so much more lately, about my school experience, with all this talk about bullying on the news. I was bullied every day of school from about 3rd grade until I graduated. It was awful and I still live with the consequences. I still feel that I'm ugly, fat, slow and not even worth basic common courtesy some days. However, I am improving in my self-image and I know I deserve better than to be ruled by such crappy habits that formed because an incompetent Doctor dismissed crucial tests results when I was 15. I am sick of feeling that I am invisible because I'm always the fat girl in almost every group I go out with. I am sick of feeling no one could possibly find me attractive. I'm just sick of it. But most of all, I refuse to let this fat make me more sick. I don't want to be stuck on diabetes and high blood pressure medication from the time I'm in my 20s till my body gives out when my grandchildren are still young.
I am going to write about this in the future and I hope that helps keep me accountable. (By the way, as I write this, Dani is mimicking me exercising this afternoon, too cute. She's doing lunges lol)
That being said, let me explain a little history. I have PCOS and have been on birth control pills since I was a teen to control my erratic periods. Once we decided to have Dani, I've pretty much been off birth control pills. Even after Dani was born, we never went back on the pill. Months ago, I went to the Doctor to discuss my birth control options since we officially decided to not try for a 2nd child. I was told progesterone only birth control was my best option because the pill and patch have estrogen which can raise your blood pressure (and condoms just weren't an option anymore). My current blood pressure was fine but he didn't want to mess that up. So I went with Implanon, which is like Mirena but it goes in your arm for 3 years. It was a horrific mess. Within 2 weeks I was ready to rip it out myself! I was an exhausted, hormonal mess (worse than when I was pregnant) with NO sex drive. It was awful to say the least. So I had it taken out. I really had no viable options left except the pill. I went on Ortho-tricyclen Low a month and a half ago. I went in today for a follow up feeling really good about it. I feel pretty good, I've lost 3 pounds and haven't had any side effects. My blood pressure was 147/97!!!!! That is really really bad! So, I am going to be monitored for the next 2 weeks and then if it doesn't go down, I either have to go off it or I have to go on blood pressure medication. I am 29! I kinda freaked out. I haven't really let anybody know how much that truly scared me.
But, I have decided to break the habits that have ruled me for over 15 years. I am going to exercise, eat right and lose weight. I AM going to feel better in my 30's!
Today, I started exercising. This is the part that I've never been able to stick with so I'm most nervous about. Any weight I've lost since Dani was born has been just from eating less and/or healthier. But I know exercise is essential to lowering my blood pressure so I HAVE to stick it out. I know I also need to stick to a stricter diet.
I am setting goals to lose 15 pounds by Christmas and 20 by my 30th birthday which is Jan 13. Of course that is no where close to my ideal weight but I know I need to set small goals. I would love to be below my "wedding" weight by the time I'm 31 and that's very doable. I would just need to lose 3 lbs a month for the next year after I lose the 20 lbs set for my coming birthday. (Actually, I would be almost 10lbs lighter than I was at my wedding) If I can do that again the next year, I would be the weight I was when I was flippin' 12!!! That's crazy. And doable. 36 lbs in a year seems little considering how many times I've lost 20lbs and then gained them back. However, I know it's going to be tough. But I am sick of being fat! I have been thinking so much more lately, about my school experience, with all this talk about bullying on the news. I was bullied every day of school from about 3rd grade until I graduated. It was awful and I still live with the consequences. I still feel that I'm ugly, fat, slow and not even worth basic common courtesy some days. However, I am improving in my self-image and I know I deserve better than to be ruled by such crappy habits that formed because an incompetent Doctor dismissed crucial tests results when I was 15. I am sick of feeling that I am invisible because I'm always the fat girl in almost every group I go out with. I am sick of feeling no one could possibly find me attractive. I'm just sick of it. But most of all, I refuse to let this fat make me more sick. I don't want to be stuck on diabetes and high blood pressure medication from the time I'm in my 20s till my body gives out when my grandchildren are still young.
I am going to write about this in the future and I hope that helps keep me accountable. (By the way, as I write this, Dani is mimicking me exercising this afternoon, too cute. She's doing lunges lol)
Monday, September 27, 2010
Heavenly rewards
Growing up, I remember many times hearing people talk about rewards in heaven. Most of the time, the rewards were "material". For instance, some would have huge mansions and others shacks. It never sat well with me but I was young and didn't really think about it much and when I did think about it, I just figured my pastors knew more than me.
Recently I heard this again. This time I've studied scriptures for myself and I no longer blindly accept what others tell me. Instantly I thought about how almost every time Jesus talks about rewards, it's not material. For instance, the Beatitudes. Blessed are all these people for...
-theirs is the kingdom of heaven
-they will be comforted
-they will be filled (with righteousness)
-they will be shown mercy
-they will see God
-they will be called sons of God
These are not material rewards. I would think "rewards" would be the lives you've touched, times God has used you (that will finally be made clear) and the peace you will feel when you see how God used those trials to bring good.
It seems this is just an extension of the "prosperity" gospel. When the Bible talks about blessings we immediately think money and that if we have a lack of money, God isn't blessing us. So if we are storing up rewards in heaven they must be material possessions right? I don't think so. What do you think?
Recently I heard this again. This time I've studied scriptures for myself and I no longer blindly accept what others tell me. Instantly I thought about how almost every time Jesus talks about rewards, it's not material. For instance, the Beatitudes. Blessed are all these people for...
-theirs is the kingdom of heaven
-they will be comforted
-they will be filled (with righteousness)
-they will be shown mercy
-they will see God
-they will be called sons of God
These are not material rewards. I would think "rewards" would be the lives you've touched, times God has used you (that will finally be made clear) and the peace you will feel when you see how God used those trials to bring good.
It seems this is just an extension of the "prosperity" gospel. When the Bible talks about blessings we immediately think money and that if we have a lack of money, God isn't blessing us. So if we are storing up rewards in heaven they must be material possessions right? I don't think so. What do you think?
Friday, September 24, 2010
feeling alone
Wow, so much has happened recently, I'm not even sure what exactly I'm going to write in this entry. I've had more drama in my life over the past 2 weeks than I've had in the past 8 years. I'm really hurting right now but I'm praying that my pain won't be wasted. However, I'm not to the point yet that I'm past the hurt and able to see good in it. It's still too fresh.
2 weeks ago I had a horrible day with one of my best friends. Without going into details, I'll just say this. Most of the day we were frustrated with other people. After awhile, the frustration and anger bubbled over on each other. We had our first fight and it was a doozie. Not so much in intensity but it lasted a long time cuz we had a long drive home before it was over (2 hours) and I could drop her off. Having said that, we were able to talk on the way home and even though we were still tense with the stress of the day, I thought things were going to be ok. She hasn't talked to me since. I've sent emails and texts with no response. This was a close friend. So close we called each other sisters. I guess I misread all that, because in my book, you don't just shut out a sister over one stupid fight. Yet even as I'm mad, I miss her.
Then last week, I posted something on facebook about how I saw an example of why I hate war. A former soldier shared with friends for the first time, his struggles. He had been living with guilt for many many years because he had to shoot a man in self defense. He has seen that man's face everyday for close to 40 years and has felt that God could never forgive him for what he did. That is horrible. I DO NOT like war and don't support it. I have strong feelings about this (and some very valid reasons) BUT in my FB post all I said was I saw an example of why I don't support war. The men and women that go, have to live with the consequences of it. Even those that believe in why they're going (and this man did). I hate to see a soul so broken. It breaks my heart. I was simply hurting for him when I posted the status. Well, all hell broke loose and I became the whipping boy for anyone who dislikes those that "don't support the troops." (such an easy accusation to sling at someone) The worse part was it was FAMILY that were "talking" publicly about me on each others walls and status's. I even had one harrass me till I had to block him after I unfriended him due to his (current and past) comments.
These are people who are supposed to love me despite what they might view as flaws. These were cousins and aunts. Women who saw me grow up. They came to my dedication, graduation and wedding. Then my baby showers for Dani and the hospital when she was born. These are people who are supposed to be there for you when the going get rough. They aren't supposed to publicly flog you for something you didn't even say (or mean). They aren't supposed to call you stupid, ignorant, mean, closed minded, and heartless. Those words cut deeply and 6 days later I still cry over it. Yet, only one has even bothered to respond to a letter my brother sent out (privately) asking them to try to understand what I was actually saying. No one seems to care that they hurt me. I have apologized to them for what they thought I said (and what they obviously thought I meant by it) but only one has responded and it was a cousin not one of my aunts.
Why does that bother me so much???? I've been asking myself this question. I guess because my cousins didn't babysit me, they didn't grow up with my wonderful mother who gave birth to me, they didn't watch me grow up like my aunts did, they didn't change my diapers, they didn't hug and kiss me when I was still a toddler, and they didn't calm my fears or wipe my tears as a child. I could go on and on I'm sure. I look at my cousins and they aren't any more mature than I am nor would I expect them to be. But I look at my mom and I see wisdom that only comes with being a "grownup" for longer than me. I know I can still be immature, anyone my age still is. But I guess I expected my aunts to be the voice of reason not add fuel to the fire. I feel they should have known that their words would have consequences. Did they care they were hurting their niece's feelings? You don't live that long and not learn that what you say matters to those you say it about. Did they stop to think that they might be severing ties with someone they've watch grow up for 30 years (and my immediate family)? Did they stop to think at all? It didn't appear to be so from what I could see/read. All the posts sounded the same to me. There was no voice of wisdom coming from anywhere. No rational thoughts that might slow down the mob mentality that was rising to a fever pitch. No one seemed to care that I had feelings too.
I'm hurting. I feel alone, cut off, discarded. I fear the relationships will never be the same.
I am hurting and very few people seem to care.
2 weeks ago I had a horrible day with one of my best friends. Without going into details, I'll just say this. Most of the day we were frustrated with other people. After awhile, the frustration and anger bubbled over on each other. We had our first fight and it was a doozie. Not so much in intensity but it lasted a long time cuz we had a long drive home before it was over (2 hours) and I could drop her off. Having said that, we were able to talk on the way home and even though we were still tense with the stress of the day, I thought things were going to be ok. She hasn't talked to me since. I've sent emails and texts with no response. This was a close friend. So close we called each other sisters. I guess I misread all that, because in my book, you don't just shut out a sister over one stupid fight. Yet even as I'm mad, I miss her.
Then last week, I posted something on facebook about how I saw an example of why I hate war. A former soldier shared with friends for the first time, his struggles. He had been living with guilt for many many years because he had to shoot a man in self defense. He has seen that man's face everyday for close to 40 years and has felt that God could never forgive him for what he did. That is horrible. I DO NOT like war and don't support it. I have strong feelings about this (and some very valid reasons) BUT in my FB post all I said was I saw an example of why I don't support war. The men and women that go, have to live with the consequences of it. Even those that believe in why they're going (and this man did). I hate to see a soul so broken. It breaks my heart. I was simply hurting for him when I posted the status. Well, all hell broke loose and I became the whipping boy for anyone who dislikes those that "don't support the troops." (such an easy accusation to sling at someone) The worse part was it was FAMILY that were "talking" publicly about me on each others walls and status's. I even had one harrass me till I had to block him after I unfriended him due to his (current and past) comments.
These are people who are supposed to love me despite what they might view as flaws. These were cousins and aunts. Women who saw me grow up. They came to my dedication, graduation and wedding. Then my baby showers for Dani and the hospital when she was born. These are people who are supposed to be there for you when the going get rough. They aren't supposed to publicly flog you for something you didn't even say (or mean). They aren't supposed to call you stupid, ignorant, mean, closed minded, and heartless. Those words cut deeply and 6 days later I still cry over it. Yet, only one has even bothered to respond to a letter my brother sent out (privately) asking them to try to understand what I was actually saying. No one seems to care that they hurt me. I have apologized to them for what they thought I said (and what they obviously thought I meant by it) but only one has responded and it was a cousin not one of my aunts.
Why does that bother me so much???? I've been asking myself this question. I guess because my cousins didn't babysit me, they didn't grow up with my wonderful mother who gave birth to me, they didn't watch me grow up like my aunts did, they didn't change my diapers, they didn't hug and kiss me when I was still a toddler, and they didn't calm my fears or wipe my tears as a child. I could go on and on I'm sure. I look at my cousins and they aren't any more mature than I am nor would I expect them to be. But I look at my mom and I see wisdom that only comes with being a "grownup" for longer than me. I know I can still be immature, anyone my age still is. But I guess I expected my aunts to be the voice of reason not add fuel to the fire. I feel they should have known that their words would have consequences. Did they care they were hurting their niece's feelings? You don't live that long and not learn that what you say matters to those you say it about. Did they stop to think that they might be severing ties with someone they've watch grow up for 30 years (and my immediate family)? Did they stop to think at all? It didn't appear to be so from what I could see/read. All the posts sounded the same to me. There was no voice of wisdom coming from anywhere. No rational thoughts that might slow down the mob mentality that was rising to a fever pitch. No one seemed to care that I had feelings too.
I'm hurting. I feel alone, cut off, discarded. I fear the relationships will never be the same.
I am hurting and very few people seem to care.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Purpose of Church
A while ago someone posted the question "Why do you go to church" on their status on Facebook. I, like many others, gave my version of an answer. Mine said in essence "I go because we can do more good for others as a group than as individuals" I truly believe this. (I do think it's good to have Christian friends/ group that will challenge you and to discuss the Bible/ideas with. However you can have these relationship outside of a church building.)
So what do you do when opportunities to help those outside the church aren't available to you? What do you do when most of the ministries at the church are inward focused? And is it worth leaving behind relationships that mean a lot to you in order to go somewhere you feel will allow you serve God as part of a body of Christ?
To be honest I've really been struggling with these questions. I love a lot of people in our church. We have some close relationships with those that attend there. However, except for Angel Food Ministries, the Domestic Violence Shelter collections and Food Pantry drives (the first two we started) all the ministries I can think of are about people already in the church. And there doesn't seem to be any initiative to serve those outside the church. We are told to invite others in but not to go out and serve and love those that won't enter our doors. For instance, our teens have lots of fund raisers in order to do lots of things that are all about their entertainment. Personally, I think they would learn a lot more about Jesus by serving the homeless/poor/hungry than going to yet another retreat/camp/whatever. They go rock climbing but never sweep the rocky doorstep of an elderly person. Same with our children's program. I want Dani to grow up learning the body of Christ is there to serve and love others. It's not about us.
And I don't think we need to go to church to "be fed". We are all responsible for our own personal growth. Yes we can learn from others but it is ultimately our own personal walk. I do my own study at home from the Bible, books that challenge me and from several close friendships that also challenge me and allow me to question and grow. This is not a reason to stay in my thoughts.
However, there are people we love here. CJ is mentoring a teenager and that relationship is blossoming into something great. I have a relationship also that kind of has that mentoring quality and both of these relationships would probably suffer if we left. There's also some relationships I could stand to lose. They are unhealthy and would be good to get away from. (I will not explain this, just trust me)
We are not jumping into leaving and we aren't even looking at other churches yet. I think our relationships are holding us right now but it's a struggle. Does anyone else struggle with this? Is our situation so unique?
So what do you do when opportunities to help those outside the church aren't available to you? What do you do when most of the ministries at the church are inward focused? And is it worth leaving behind relationships that mean a lot to you in order to go somewhere you feel will allow you serve God as part of a body of Christ?
To be honest I've really been struggling with these questions. I love a lot of people in our church. We have some close relationships with those that attend there. However, except for Angel Food Ministries, the Domestic Violence Shelter collections and Food Pantry drives (the first two we started) all the ministries I can think of are about people already in the church. And there doesn't seem to be any initiative to serve those outside the church. We are told to invite others in but not to go out and serve and love those that won't enter our doors. For instance, our teens have lots of fund raisers in order to do lots of things that are all about their entertainment. Personally, I think they would learn a lot more about Jesus by serving the homeless/poor/hungry than going to yet another retreat/camp/whatever. They go rock climbing but never sweep the rocky doorstep of an elderly person. Same with our children's program. I want Dani to grow up learning the body of Christ is there to serve and love others. It's not about us.
And I don't think we need to go to church to "be fed". We are all responsible for our own personal growth. Yes we can learn from others but it is ultimately our own personal walk. I do my own study at home from the Bible, books that challenge me and from several close friendships that also challenge me and allow me to question and grow. This is not a reason to stay in my thoughts.
However, there are people we love here. CJ is mentoring a teenager and that relationship is blossoming into something great. I have a relationship also that kind of has that mentoring quality and both of these relationships would probably suffer if we left. There's also some relationships I could stand to lose. They are unhealthy and would be good to get away from. (I will not explain this, just trust me)
We are not jumping into leaving and we aren't even looking at other churches yet. I think our relationships are holding us right now but it's a struggle. Does anyone else struggle with this? Is our situation so unique?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tan vs Khaki
I have an issue I want to vent about!
Seriously??? Do you think we are made of money? You know how much money we make! What am I talking about? I'm talking about the new dress code they are implementing at CJ's and my work. They are switching all new shirts and have said they only allow black or TAN pants not khaki, only tan. What the heck is the difference??? CJ was told the other day his pants were khaki not tan in color. When he told me this I just wanted to throw something at his boss. Seriously?? You know what CJ makes, in fact you set his salary. There is no way we can afford for him to buy all new shirts AND pants just to satisfy your whim of a new "sharper" dress code. That's all this is to him! He says he wants to get back to a sharper look. Well I'm sorry that a khaki pant, dress shoes, shirt and tie are not sharp enough for you! CJ is going to be given 2 new shirts and that's it. The rest we have to purchase out of our own pocket and they are not cheap! We get nada to help with the cost of replacing pants. I'm sorry but we do not have an extra $200 to go drop on new clothes all at once! The new dress code starts next week. I SOOOOO WANT TO STRANGLE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I, as a part-timer, get one shirt and luckily that is going to work as I only work one day a week. I do not care if I have to replace my pants. I ain't gonna! I stand behind a counter and no one cares about my damn pants!
PLUS we now can't wear our own sweatshirts or coats around the store even when we are working outside. We have to purchase fleece jackets. Not only fleece jackets, BLACK fleece. CJ purchased several jackets last year when they said he could no longer wear his jacket when in the cooler (he worked as a dairy manager so he was in a big fridge much of the time). So now 2 out of the 3 we purchased (NOT cheap) no longer will work. The one black one we did purchased, was stolen out of his cooler so we have to buy another one! I AM SOOOO FRUSTRATED!!!!
So thank you, you freakin' managers for allowing me to work for you for a whole month just so I can afford to pay for new clothes so that I will look "sharp" when you look at me from your nice new car we can not afford to buy with what you pay us.
Seriously??? Do you think we are made of money? You know how much money we make! What am I talking about? I'm talking about the new dress code they are implementing at CJ's and my work. They are switching all new shirts and have said they only allow black or TAN pants not khaki, only tan. What the heck is the difference??? CJ was told the other day his pants were khaki not tan in color. When he told me this I just wanted to throw something at his boss. Seriously?? You know what CJ makes, in fact you set his salary. There is no way we can afford for him to buy all new shirts AND pants just to satisfy your whim of a new "sharper" dress code. That's all this is to him! He says he wants to get back to a sharper look. Well I'm sorry that a khaki pant, dress shoes, shirt and tie are not sharp enough for you! CJ is going to be given 2 new shirts and that's it. The rest we have to purchase out of our own pocket and they are not cheap! We get nada to help with the cost of replacing pants. I'm sorry but we do not have an extra $200 to go drop on new clothes all at once! The new dress code starts next week. I SOOOOO WANT TO STRANGLE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I, as a part-timer, get one shirt and luckily that is going to work as I only work one day a week. I do not care if I have to replace my pants. I ain't gonna! I stand behind a counter and no one cares about my damn pants!
PLUS we now can't wear our own sweatshirts or coats around the store even when we are working outside. We have to purchase fleece jackets. Not only fleece jackets, BLACK fleece. CJ purchased several jackets last year when they said he could no longer wear his jacket when in the cooler (he worked as a dairy manager so he was in a big fridge much of the time). So now 2 out of the 3 we purchased (NOT cheap) no longer will work. The one black one we did purchased, was stolen out of his cooler so we have to buy another one! I AM SOOOO FRUSTRATED!!!!
So thank you, you freakin' managers for allowing me to work for you for a whole month just so I can afford to pay for new clothes so that I will look "sharp" when you look at me from your nice new car we can not afford to buy with what you pay us.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Great Iowa State Fair
CJ and I decided to take a little trip to the fair this year. As we were talking about the possibility of going last week, we got to talking about when the last time was we went. We figured out it was 10 flippin' year ago!! Seriously??? I used to work there every year as a teen and we went pretty often before that as a kid. We couldn't believe it had been that long. So we just HAD to come.
We went today and had a blast. What a great family day it was. We were there by 9:30am and stayed till 4pm. Dani did great! She loved the horses (wanted to ride one), was a bit freaked out but the deep-voiced sheep that baa'ed as he was getting sheared just a few feet away from us and thought the pigs were lazy because all they were doing was sleeping. She liked the milk from the Dairy Barn and LOVED the Big Slide! We were going to try to get away without going to the Midway but of course that didn't work. We spent 2 hours in there and would have been longer if we didn't need lunch so bad. It was 1:30 before we finally dragged her away from the rides to eat. Then we went to the butterfly house and the "farm" for little kids. It was soooo neat. They walk kids through the whole process in an interactive way of house food goes from seed to fuel to crops to the grocery store. She rode a horse (the pony rides), got to see a 2 hr old calf, piglets and hatching chicks, and got to meet Clifford the Big Red Dog. She was in heaven.
Of course, CJ and enjoyed ourselves too. We were thrilled that several buildings that we used to swelter in were now air conditioned and we still love the gyros in the triangle. It's so fun to see the fair through the eyes of your child. Everything was new to her and so interesting. She was so good. We only had 2 meltdowns and they really weren't that bad. And for Dani 2 is very minor. And they pretty much made sense in the context she was in. First she wanted to ride rides before we were ready. And second, she didn't want to put her "fruit" from the Farm in baskets because she knew she wouldn't get them back and she loves her plastic food at home. Plus the basket thing was just past nap time so she was bound to melt down sooner or later.
Bonus, we got to spend some time with some family tonight that I haven't seen in a year. Thanks Glen and Julie for putting us up! CJ said today walking down Grand Ave (in the fairgrounds) "We need to make this an annual trip". I couldn't agree more.
We went today and had a blast. What a great family day it was. We were there by 9:30am and stayed till 4pm. Dani did great! She loved the horses (wanted to ride one), was a bit freaked out but the deep-voiced sheep that baa'ed as he was getting sheared just a few feet away from us and thought the pigs were lazy because all they were doing was sleeping. She liked the milk from the Dairy Barn and LOVED the Big Slide! We were going to try to get away without going to the Midway but of course that didn't work. We spent 2 hours in there and would have been longer if we didn't need lunch so bad. It was 1:30 before we finally dragged her away from the rides to eat. Then we went to the butterfly house and the "farm" for little kids. It was soooo neat. They walk kids through the whole process in an interactive way of house food goes from seed to fuel to crops to the grocery store. She rode a horse (the pony rides), got to see a 2 hr old calf, piglets and hatching chicks, and got to meet Clifford the Big Red Dog. She was in heaven.
Of course, CJ and enjoyed ourselves too. We were thrilled that several buildings that we used to swelter in were now air conditioned and we still love the gyros in the triangle. It's so fun to see the fair through the eyes of your child. Everything was new to her and so interesting. She was so good. We only had 2 meltdowns and they really weren't that bad. And for Dani 2 is very minor. And they pretty much made sense in the context she was in. First she wanted to ride rides before we were ready. And second, she didn't want to put her "fruit" from the Farm in baskets because she knew she wouldn't get them back and she loves her plastic food at home. Plus the basket thing was just past nap time so she was bound to melt down sooner or later.
Bonus, we got to spend some time with some family tonight that I haven't seen in a year. Thanks Glen and Julie for putting us up! CJ said today walking down Grand Ave (in the fairgrounds) "We need to make this an annual trip". I couldn't agree more.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Passion Party
I just had a great girls night out last night! Laura and I went to a Passion Party at Jilli's house (my SIL). It was a lot of fun!
It was so funny to watch some of the girls faces when the consultant would bring out these huge vibrators with multiple speeds and stuff. My MIL was there and she was one of the funniest. Although she did great and seemed to be pretty much at ease, I think she was keenly aware her baby girl was there, and me, her baby boy's wife. But it was still a lot of fun. It was made even better by the fact I took Laura with me. I had to convince her that a night out was what she needed when she tried to back out due to a stressful situation she's in right now, but once she agreed to go, she had a ball. Lots of girly talk and laughs! Just what the doctor ordered. And then of course both our husbands were glad to see us and our purchases walk in the door! he he, sorry had to put that in.
I'm going to host a party Sept 16th. If you want to come or order, let me know. By the way, the party was very tasteful so if you're a little more prudish than some, you'd still fit right in. :)
It was so funny to watch some of the girls faces when the consultant would bring out these huge vibrators with multiple speeds and stuff. My MIL was there and she was one of the funniest. Although she did great and seemed to be pretty much at ease, I think she was keenly aware her baby girl was there, and me, her baby boy's wife. But it was still a lot of fun. It was made even better by the fact I took Laura with me. I had to convince her that a night out was what she needed when she tried to back out due to a stressful situation she's in right now, but once she agreed to go, she had a ball. Lots of girly talk and laughs! Just what the doctor ordered. And then of course both our husbands were glad to see us and our purchases walk in the door! he he, sorry had to put that in.
I'm going to host a party Sept 16th. If you want to come or order, let me know. By the way, the party was very tasteful so if you're a little more prudish than some, you'd still fit right in. :)
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