living with questions

I'm learning that I don't know more than I do know. I'm also learning that's ok. However, I'm so used to thinking I have to have the right answers in order to live right and not sin. If I don't know if something is right or wrong how can I know whether or not I can do it and still be ok in God's eyes? This is such a weird way of thinking however, it's the norm in church culture right now. We need pastors and teachers and even each other to tell us the right answers so we know the right way to live. Is smoking and drinking right or wrong? Is going to a bar ok? Is being gay a sin? Is being transgendered a sin? Is voting for a pro-choice candidate ok? Is capitalism good or bad? Is cussing a sin or just bad taste? Is speaking in tongues essential to being filled with the Holy Spirit or just a gift given to a select few? Should we be baptized as infants or after being "saved"? Etc etc etc. I think this is why there is so much division between different denominations. Even why there are different denominations to begin with. We feel we have to have all the answers nailed down and nailed down correctly. Questions aren't welcome. Uncertainty is to be avoided at all cost.

Right now I'm dealing with the questions of homosexuality. Right now I still think it's sin. However, I'm not so certain that I will argue with anyone about it. There is more and more science showing how hormones and genes contribute to many having homosexual tendencies. I also know that external factors play a huge role as well. (Such as having overbearing mothers or absentee fathers) There seems to be even more science pointing towards genetic or hormonal causes in those who would call themselves transgendered. If a "male" embryo receives female hormones invitro that causes them to feel more female than male do we condemn them anyway? Would God? I don't know yet and maybe I never will. Is that bad? I'm learning more and more that the answer is no.

We don't have to have all the answers! God is the only one with knowledge of ALL things. Plus, with learning more and more that it's not all about knowing the right way to live (and therefore avoiding hell) and just living in the love and presence of Jesus right here, right now, I'm learning it's ok to be in process. To always be learning and reevaluating what I've always thought to be set in stone.

I think one of the most dangerous things a church can do is to refuse to question. We have a history of doing that and it isn't pretty. ESPECIALLY when it comes to science. Remember (in history books) when the church refused to believe that the solar system didn't revolve around the earth? This seems silly to us now but back then it was a HUGE deal! It seemed so central to what they believed about how God created us and the worlds around us. For a long time the church refused to reevaluate what they had translated the Bible to say in order to fit it to what science had proven.

Are we doing the same thing today? What about evolution? Most christians will agree that the creation story isn't literal (6 24 hr periods) After all, we all know the verse that says, a day is a thousand years and a thousand years is a day to God. So is it so unbelievable that God might have created that single cell organism on the first "day" and set the system of evolution in place? Would that mean that he didn't actually "create" all that we see? Actually I think it's even more impressive and cool than if it all happened in 6 days! What a creative God we have!

We just need to be careful I think, in the coming days. Questions and uncertainty (and science) are not our enemies. They help us understand and explore our amazing God!