Expectations

Friday night we all ("all"=CJ, Mom and Dad, Erin and Donnie and their friend, Andy)went to the lighted Christmas parade. I was the one that kind of pushed it because, lately, as we've been driving around town I'll hear behind me oohs and ahhs from Dani when she sees Christmas lights. I thought she'd love the parade. She was fine while we waited. She was a little frustrated because I had her on a harness cuz she kept wanting to run away but otherwise good. The first thing of the parade was a fire pickup that had it's lights flashing, I think it freaked her out. She started crying and squirming and then everything freaked her out after that. I don't know if it was the floats moving by her or the noise of the generators 0n the floats or what but she hated every float. She ended up burying her face in my mom's coat and eventually falling asleep.

Confession... instead of taking her and comforting her as a "good" mom should, when I saw her freaking out in CJ's arms I got frustrated. This is the third time something like this has happened. By "like this" I mean, we planned an outing that I thought she'd love and she hated or acted up.
The first was the rodeo parade. She got over stimulated by all the sirens in the beginning so she was skittish the whole time. And the bands, which I thought she'd love since she loves music, freaked her out the worst.
The second outing was to the pumpkin patch. First, CJ's family all backed out at the last minute so that already had me frustrated. Secondly, Dani was in a foul mood the whole time we were there. She literally screamed in protest every time I took the camera out. I got a few candids but nothing with her in front of a hay bale or corn stalks or ya know, any picturesque photos that you view in your head. She didn't want to do anything. She even threw down a "Dani" sized pumpkin I gave her. I literally left the pumpkin patch in tears.
The third outing was this parade. I really didn't think we could go wrong with this because she's been loving the Christmas lights lately and she isn't bothered by crowds. How could we go wrong right?
I know they say not to have expectations and you're probably thinking that I need to let them go but how can I? In the 5 years we tried to conceive, I used to dream about these moments and how they would look. I can't just throw that all away can I?
Am I the only one who this happens to?

Flies!!!

Ok this is going to be a stupid post but I have to vent...
What is with all the stupid flies and how do they get in my house???? I just killed about 10 flies that were on my bedroom window this morning. Then I go in there after being gone for a couple hours and there was 20! It's like plucking a gray hair, 2 grow in it's place. I thought the cold was supposed to kill them anyway! I have more than in the summer time. Plus I absolutely abhor flies! They are so gross and dirty! You'd think I'd be used to them, growing up on a farm. They love manure and we had a ton of it with all the animals around. I never got used to them. I can remember going outside where they used to congregate on our garage doors with a fly swatter and going crazy with it. I guess I thought that if I killed enough of them, they'd quit hanging out there. I don't think it ever worked but I sooooooo wanted to get rid of them that I kept trying. Well, I don't do that anymore but I still try to keep them out of my house. Ugh! They are gross!

crazy plans

Wow, when I think about the schedule we have the next two days I feel like I need to sit and catch my breath! Here's a run down...
Tonight, not too bad. As soon as Dani wakes up (she's napping) we are going back over to my mom's and Erin and I are going to start making supper for everyone. It's going to be huge!
Tomorrow is busy. We start by volunteering from 8-11 at Burlington High School at the big dinner they have there every year. We are packing box lunches early so they can be delivered to shut ins around the area. Then I'll have to run home and get ready and let Dani take a nap. At 1 is the Miller get-together lunch. As soon as we're done there, we are hitting the road to go to CJ's parents for supper with them and his sister's family.
Friday is even busier. We are going shopping in the morning, then back in time for Dani's nap. Then CJ and I are going to the Shaffer's get-together over in Illinois. Then we have to be back in time for the lighted Christmas parade in Fort Madison. I absolutely can't wait to see Dani's expressions as she sees all the lights. She's so animated!
If this was just us, it would be fine. However, poor Dani might have a hard time. I hope she adapts easily. She's getting less and less flexible as she's getting older.
I hope everyone has a great week. Don't forget to take time to be thankful, even if it's simply time taken in the car, going from one dinner to the next.

a common cold??

I HATE being sick. Always have but even more so since I've had Dani. Gone are the days when I can simply call in sick and take care of myself till I'm better. No...now I have to either suck it up and get up anyway to care for my little girl who still needs to be fed, diapered, played with and read to, or I have to find a babysitter on short notice. Well, Thursday I simply sucked it up and played with Dani myself. Friday and Saturday (today)that just didn't seem to be an option, I could barely function enough to get up and go to the bathroom but less take care of a lively, busy toddler. Plus, I really didn't want her to get what I had/have. So, God bless 'em, the Eagens have watched her for me the past two days.
She absolutely loves going there! There are 3 kids who just love on, dote on and play with her all day. For a little girl who loves being the center of attention there is nothing better.
So needless to say the past two days have been much more fun for her than for me. I've been so sick with a cold. I can't remember the last time a COLD knocked me out like this. Last night, I went out and bought humidifiers for ours and Dani's bedrooms. They made a decent difference. Dani has been having a cough and been congested too but this morning when she woke up it was all gone. That makes me feel a lot better. I'm hoping it was all just because of dry air and not because she's got the same bug as me. As for me, I did sleep better. I didn't wake up with a mouth full of cotton balls like I have been (since I have to breathe exclusively through my mouth since my nose is so stuffed up) and my nose was actually less congested. I pretty much stayed in my bedroom today reading and napping so I got a lot of benefit from the humidifier. As much as I hated to spend the money (they are expensive! I bought cheap ones last year from Walmart but I threw them out because they made no difference whatsoever), they were worth the investment. Even if just for Dani's sake. She slept through the whole night and woke up completely congestion free and hasn't coughed once. Yeah!
I don't think I'll be making it to church tomorrow. Even if I feel better I don't want to infect everyone. Plus I really need to not push it tomorrow cuz I have to work Monday and Tuesday so I need to conserve my energy to make it through. I'm always exhausted by Wednesday anyway and I've never had to make it through while being sick. I already know the Eagens are going to take Dani Tuesday all day since I work till midnight Monday night and then go in again at 4pm till 10pm Tuesday night. Hopefully I'll get a nap to get me through on Tuesday. If I can just make it through, hopefully I'll be able to take it easy through the rest of the week. My brother and sister-in-law are going to be here (yeah!) but we don't have any big plans so hopefully we'll just sit around and do nothing. That's my kind of vacation!
I'm starting to ramble and it's time for my drugs-I can tell, my nose is getting more stuffy again...

No room at the inn

I'm very excited by little things sometimes and today it happened again. CJ and I are going to Des Moines for the Tyler get-together on Dec 6th. We went last year and stayed at my Uncle Glen's house which worked out great. (we usually stay there anytime we go to Des Moines) However, this year there is no space for us to stay there since both his daughters and both Grandbabies moved back in. The one guest room he has is always occupied by my aunt. So my Grandmother graciously offered to pay for a hotel room. When I first heard about it, it felt like an answer to prayer. Then I got to thinking of the challenges it presents. First of all, Dani can't sleep in the same room as us. She cries if she sees us. Also, she is still having a bottle when she wakes up and before she goes to bed. That requires a fridge to store the milk (we could do with a cooler if need be so this isn't a huge issue) and a microwave to warm it up. (we've tried weaning her off to cold milk but she won't have it so this is a huge issue) Today I was looking online to book a room and discovered a hotel that specializes in long stays but will still book a room for 1 night if need be. It has a kitchenette (with fridge and microwave included) and is L shaped so we should be able to put Dani out of view. Plus it's only about $15 more than others we were looking at and is still within the budget given to us. Yeah!!! It makes me happy! I know it seems little to most of you but this really takes a lot of stress out of this trip. I no longer have to worry about this stuff. I have literally been stressing about these two issues for weeks, ever since the room was offered. Yeah!

All at once

I find myself asking if anything else can go wrong and apparently the answer is yes. Dani has been having a really rough time for the past 2 weeks. She's been teething really badly. She's getting her "eye" teeth (I don't know if that's the proper spelling.) and apparently they are some of the worst. (they still haven't come in) Tuesday she got the first shot of two for her flu shot. I guess for the first-timers they split the vaccine in half so she's getting the second shot next month. After the flu shot she got a canker sore the size of Rhode Island in her mouth. THEN she fell and hit her mouth really hard. She has a huge, bloody fat lip and a blood blister on her gums. NOW, she's starting to cough and we just found out she was exposed to bronchitis! She's is sorry shape. And as you parents know, as they are so you are...
She is not sleeping at all. Last night she cried more than she ever did as a newborn. But there's nothing we could do but let her cry because we already gave her all her medicine and all she is wanting is for us to hold her. She's been wanting to fall asleep with us rocking her but as soon as we start to get up to put her down (cuz she's out cold) she starts crying and doesn't sleep in her crib. It's sooooo frustrating and yet we feel so bad for her cuz she's so miserable. She cries out for us even in her sleep. None of us have gotten sleep in 3 days! I'm so exhausted. And you should see the poor thing, she's a mess!
A friend of ours offered a solution that I think we're going to try. We don't have a recliner but they have one and they said they'd bring it here and we could put it in her room and she could sleep on one of us. I'm a little hesitant about it cuz I don't want to start a bad habit. But us sleeping away from her isn't working either so I think we're going to try it just so we can hopefully, get a little sleep.
Poor thing, I know she has the worst of it but I sometimes find myself throwing ME the pity party in my sleep-deprived state.

true thanksgiving

The Holiday season! I love it! I am sitting at my desk, listening to Christmas music, sipping hot chocolate, thinking about the festivities to come in the next month or so. I looking forward to it even more this year for two main reasons. 1) Even though it's not Dani's first Christmas it's the first that she will register what's going on. I'm sure this excitement will continue over the next few years as she learns to anticipate the day in advance. 2) Donnie and Erin will be here twice over the next two months. This is the first Holiday season we've lived far away from them and I miss them. They are going to be here in two weeks for Thanksgiving!
Another reason I'm excited is this year we are going to serve the community on Thanksgiving. What a great way to remember what we have to be thankful for. I guess Burlington High School has a dinner every year on Thanksgiving Day. They serve lots of people there in the cafeteria and also deliver meals to people who are home-bound. Well, on Thanksgiving morning we are going to put meals together that are to be delivered to shut-ins. I am excited about it actually. I think it'll be a great way to celebrate the day together as a family.
It's been interesting to see the little sacrifices that we will make that day in order to serve and the reactions of some of my family members to those sacrifices. One person was really hesitant to devote 3 hrs to something else on Thanksgiving, and one was sad to miss the Macy's Parade, a tradition for them. I don't think badly of them for thinking of those things and being a bit hesitant, service always requires a bit of sacrifice. However, we all know it's worth it and are happy to serve those less fortunate on a day we celebrate how much we actually have. As evident by the amount of food I'm sure we will stuff ourselves with later that day. :)
I hope to continue this new tradition, especially as Dani gets older and can help too. I want her to never take any of our blessings for granted, even to the food we eat.

10 years ago

Saturday CJ and I made a day trip to the Iowa City area and did some Christmas/grocery/anything shopping. We went to Tanger Outlet mall and Sams Club. We got gifts for several people, Christmas shopping is half done!
At the last minute we decided that the trip would be way to much for Dani and we arranged for the Eagens to take her (thank God for them!!!!!) for the day. She enjoys going there so much more than traipsing around with us. I'm really glad we did that because 1)the day was longer than we had planned but mostly 2)because CJ and I needed the day together. It's been awhile since we've connected like that. You married folk will be able to relate to this. I know marriage has it's ups and downs, but lately we've been going through a down patch. It sucks actually. Knowing it happens doesn't necessarily make it easy to get through.
Saturday, we laughed and talked, not really about anything deep but just easy banter and conversation. We were completely comfortable with each other, no work stress, house cleaning stress, or anything that causes our daily fights. It was lighthearted and free like when we were teenagers (or as close as we will ever get).
On the way home, we realized that ten years ago that weekend was the weekend we went to Coralville Mall (outside Iowa City) and got our promise rings. The weather was even the same. Snow flurries enough to make it pretty but no enough to make driving hazardous. It was a good memory to recall together.

It don't get no better than this

This weekend was full of fun, hard work, but fun all the same. Yesterday was packed full with "Trunk or Treat" preparations. I helped Destiny and a sick Jessie, with getting all the last minute preparations done. I was in charge of all the outside decorations and I thought they looked good. :)
"Trunk or Treat" was a success. A friend of mine said she had 500 pieces of candy and gave out 2 to each kid and she was almost out! The kids enjoyed all the games and we had 15 trunks!!! Not bad for our first year. Look out next year, Jessie's already planning for it. :)
Today was totally different. I didn't have to run around working hard and making sure everything was done and taken care of. I did, however, have a full day. It was Plow Days today at my parents farm. All these farmers from the surrounding areas bring all their antique plows pulled by antique tractors and/or horses. There's food, dirt, and lots of lawn chairs. I took Dani over as soon as I was up and except for her nap time, we were there all day. She ran all around, getting into EVERYTHING but Grammie and PaPa were there to help. Dad walked around with her in his arms a lot today. He is SUCH a proud grandpa! Late in the day she came over to give him a kiss and he turned to one of his farmer friends and said, "It don't get no better than this" Ahhhhh
She'll sleep good tonight.
Please knock on wood for me!!!