worst day ever

This day may go down in history as one of my worst days as a mother. Last night, Dani woke up with a 103.1 fever and woke up about 4 times total through out the night. She was a wreck, therefore so was I. I got no sleep cuz I got up with her everytime since CJ had to work today and when I finally got back in bed, I had the hardest time going back to sleep. And not only did she get up 4 times last night she cried out in her sleep a ton. So once I got to sleep I would get woke up by her crying! That's not even the worst part.
Today I took her to the doctor. The only time they could get me in was right at the start of her naptime but I took it. The doctor got called to the hospital for a delivery so all the appts were delayed. So poor Dani, sick and hungry (I didnt' have enough food) and tired, waited and waited. The doctor finally saw us and after examining her decided we needed some tests done. We tested her for an UTI. Which, a catheter and a 14 month old combined, is about as bad as it gets. Then they had to do a whole blood workup. The nurses were great but they couldnt' get the vein cuz Dani was so tense. She was crying so hard I about lost it. Luckily it was a good nurse and she didn't take the needle out, she just tried moving it around so she wouldn't have to stick Dani again. Finally, finally, she got the blood they needed. Then we had to wait for an hour while the lab processed it. Dani was so miserable and so was I. Finally, we get the results back and they arent' good, but they also don't tell us much. She has an infection "somewhere" her white blood cell counts are elevated and CRP (it stands for something something protein) numbers were high. So they've started her on an anti-biotic and if she's not better by Monday I have to take her in again. No matter how she's feeling, I have to take her in again Wednesday to have the CRP levels checked again. More blood tests, yeah!
While we were waiting for the results, Dani finally crashed and was trying to sleep on me which she hasnt' done since she was 6 months old. But everytime a door slammed or a child cried she would startle and would have to be calmed down. Talk about draining. I sang to her almost the whole hour we waited. It was the only thing that kept her calm. For about a 15 minute interval I really started to panic. I started thinking about the fact that many many parents receive bad news everyday. Their child has cancer or some other serious illness. I started crying and really had to pull it together cuz I couldn't sing and it upset Dani. I am still scared and if I let myself think about it I start crying all over again. I know God can heal Dani if it turns out to be my worst nightmare but I also know sometimes he doesn't heal like we want. I know that and am at peace with that for the most part but it's never been my baby.
If this antibiotic doesn't work, I'm really scared we could be faced with a serious situation next week. I'm really trying to trust God and accept what comes. I'm also trying to not get worked up cuz it could be nothing but a sinus infection that will immediately clear up. Let's hope it is. Hopefully this will continue to reign as my worst day as a mother for a long long time.